New Year's Resolutions

Good morning!

I only have one resolution for 2009: to become a better woman, whatever that looks like.

I have been in physical pain off and on since last week because of my own stupidity. I was feeling rather well, and for a moment I forgot that I recently had surgery. As I straightened the office at church, I saw an unopened box of copy paper that had been sitting on a desk for a few days. Without thinking, I picked it up and carried it to the counter to put the reams in the cabinet.

You can probably figure out the rest.

I have been trying to rest this week, and I'm afraid to exercise because I don't want to feel any more pain. Maybe I'll start walking next week.

Weight loss is usually my only goal, but this year it will only be part of my journey. I'm still going to cook healthy meals and try to stay away from fattening foods, but exercise needs to be a daily part of my routine too.

My boys have lost quite a bit of weight because of their active lifestyles and my conscious effort this year to buy foods that will nourish our bodies. In fact, I'm so blessed when they go to the store with me. Instead of asking for chips or candy, they beg for yogurt and strip cheese! (Really! I'm not making this up!)

Last night I didn't feel particularly well, so I made a simple dinner. I cooked the leftover Christmas turkey in a pan with two tablespoons of canola oil, some Mrs. Dash seasoning, and a jar of roasted red bell peppers, which I sliced. I didn't use any salt or butter. I poured that mixture over some noodles, and voila! We enjoyed a healthy, easy to make, quick supper. My boys LOVED it!

I have already begun reading my Bible more often, and I'm enjoying my time with God. I definitely need to continue spending time with him, even when life gets hectic.

I loved preaching on Sunday, so I'm hoping that I'll get to do that again in 2009. If not, the ladies at church will keep me busy with the women's Bible study. They are wonderful, and I love them dearly.

What will you focus on in the new year?

reflecting on 2008

Isn't God magnificent?

My self-esteem before and after my divorce was utterly destroyed. I thank God for J. and K., two of my guy friends (yes, just "friends") who've done wonders to help my heart heal. I'm a short, chubby, mixed chick, but they made me feel more beautiful than ever.

Yes, I have girlfriends, but these two gentlemen helped me feel like a woman again (not just Mom, teacher, or music director). I don't think they have any idea how much their attention, affection and kindness have impacted me this year. Knowing them was definitely part of God's perfect timing.

I don't think that either is "the one," nor am I looking for that anymore. I'm simply enjoying my life, a rich one filled with people who love me. I don't know what it feels like to be cherished by a husband, and I have accepted the real possibility that I never will. Being single is ok with me now, but it took a long, seemingly endless time to get to this point. I'm a good, loving, affectionate person, a whole person, with or without a sweetheart.

I thank God for my health too. I had a scare with uterine cancer, and the doctor will be watching me carefully to make sure those durn cells stay non-cancerous....but I'm cancer free! Yay! I only need meds, and my health insurance covers it. THAT is definitely a blessing too.

I am on my way toward being debt-free. Several problems have happened at no fault of my own, but I have enough to take care of my boys.

When my lease is up, I'd like to buy a cheap but dependable used car and eliminate a monthly payment. Then I'd like to double my student loan payments so that I can pay it off earlier than planned. I've already been building a little nest egg for myself, so I'll have a nice chunk of cash when I retire.

What ideas has God been giving you? How has he healed your heart? I pray that he continues to move in your life in a real and powerful way!

Good morning!

Well hello there!

How are you?

I'm happy to the core!

I have an entire week off (in addition to next Saturday and Sunday) before I must return to work, and it's heavenly to relax in a clean house.

I have trouble "wasting" days. Multi-tasking, at times, was the only way I could finish anything; therefore, it has somewhat become a habit.

I will try not to commit myself to so many roles in the new year.

I have already begun a different routine that includes reading my Bible daily. Sadly, there were quite a few days this year when I got so tired that I went to bed without a devotional. Now I'm beginning my day with some quiet time, and it's working much better!

I'm a morning person anyway...what was I thinking?

Thankfully, the sermon yesterday was anointed. I'm so glad God was by my side; otherwise, it would have flopped and my voice would have been shaking. I'm pleased to say that God received all of the glory, and that's how I wanted it.

There were tears on many faces as I tried to continue speaking, but God is gonna do his thing, isn't He? Although I wanted folks happy while I "preached," He wanted them healing. His way is better, eh? ;o)

My friend, Leon, said, "You know, I didn't know what to expect, but I gotta say I'm pleasantly surprised!"

Me too.

I'm also looking forward to preaching again!

Prayer time: THANK YOU God for my wonderful, supportive, loving, encouraging church family! We're a tight-knit group of folks who simply want to love you, Jesus. Please help us to grow! We want to listen to your voice more often, and we truly desire to please you.

I delayed beginning a women's ministry because I thought I wasn't ready, but you proved me wrong. I've also been running from a more in-your-face kind of ministry, but I think I did ok yesterday because you spoke through me. As long as I remember that it's about YOU and not me, then I'll be fine!

If you want me to go to seminary, then I'm willing. You'll also have to provide the resources to do that, but I'm not worried. I trust you.

Thank you for the opportunity to minister to your people yesterday. I was exhausted on the way home, but that's what happens after a spiritual battle, isn't it? Strengthen me, the pastor, the leadership, and your people! Remind us of our identity, that we are sons and daughters of the most high God! Sometimes we forget that when circumstances seem unbearable. In Jesus' name, amen.

not-so-nervous anymore

I feel MUCH better!

I'm not as spastic as I was this afternoon, and for that I'm grateful to God.

It's time to get some shut-eye.

See ya in the mornin'!

My First Sermon

I just put the finishing touches on my sermon for tomorrow.

I'm terrified.

It takes an average of 17 minutes to deliver this message, which means it'll be about 4 minutes if I'm still scared tomorrow morning!

I will slow down...I will slow down....I will slow down...

I'm in front of 166 kids every day without being nervous, but this is WAY different.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Pray for me, eh? Thanks a bunch!

anticipating a new year

I'm grateful for an interesting 2008, a year filled with opportunities for spiritual and emotional growth and healing. Amazingly, it has been fulfilling despite some obstacles along the way:

1. I experienced a stressful divorce, although there was no "fighting." I waited almost a year for him to come home, and in that time my children and I didn't know if he was dead or alive. I have learned that you can't have a marriage if only one person works at making the relationship work.

2. I felt acutely unwanted and unattractive when my husband left me, yet I've had more than a few folks comment on my youthful/beautiful appearance (even in the hospital on the day of my surgery when I looked a hot mess since I wasn't allowed to wear makeup). I have learned that, in the eyes of some of my closest friends, I am already beautiful and, sadly, not the only woman who has experienced this kind of pain.

3. Despite feeling alone at certain moments, I still feel blessed by some wonderful friendships. I have learned to say, "I'm scared!" or "I need help!" or "I need a hug!" I no longer try to be all things to all people; that's impossible and makes me feel neurotic. :o)

4. When many students are failing at once, I take that personally, like it's "my" failure. I have learned that a "good" teacher isn't necessarily the one who gives everyone an A. The students who want to receive what I'm trying to give them are doing well, and that's all I can ask.

As we begin a new year together, I will keep my eyes open for even more opportunities to grow and apply spiritual principles to my life. Isn't it exciting to watch how God brings balance even in the midst of chaos? He's so thoughtful and compassionate, especially when we feel disappointed.

May we accept not only God's blessings but also every chance to move outside of our comfort zones in the new year. I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me. What about you? May the Lord bless you, my friend. I love you, you know; you're not alone...ever.

Happy new year!

busy, busy, busy

Where to start?????

Um, I never made cookies as planned because I accidentally got trapped by the t.v. last night. [I adore a good love story, especially with a Christmas theme.]

So now I'm behind.

Way behind.

It'll all get done, though. I'll just need to stay focused this morning. On my to-do list:
1.) Bake cookies
2.) Finish cleaning the house [child #1 and child #2 will definitely help with that one]
3.) Do some laundry in-between other chores
4.) Call my nephew and give him a B-I-G thank-you for sending some awesome presents to my kids.
5.) Go to church and practice pastor's solo for Christmas Eve [I'll practice all of the songs while I'm there]

I finished paying bills this morning, and I'm sooooooo grateful to God! He just keeps blessing me. I don't have a lot by society's standards, but I certainly have more than enough to feel satisfied. I hope your home is filled with love and happiness as you bustle through the activities that lead up to enjoying Christmas with your family.

And the best news of all: I do NOT have cancer! Yay! Yes, I have abnormal cells that could turn into uterine cancer, but I can't waste my time worrying about that. Instead, I'm going to praise God for touching me and allowing me to be treated with some meds instead of surgery/chemo/radiation like my sister. Thank you, Father!

I pray that you have peace and smiles all year! Merry Christmas!

Christmas shopping

I'm not your typical girl:

I do NOT like shopping.

Fortunately, I finished buying Christmas presents today; I spent very little (less than $200 INCLUDING Christmas dinner...not bad, eh?).

I usually make sugar cookies and deliver them as Christmas presents to friends and family. This year, though, I decided to buy a few gifts, especially for my very young nieces.

Those girls (ages 3 and 4) love to raid my purse every time I visit them. They are so cute! Both of them love lip gloss and finger nail polish, so I bought them their own. ;o) Along with other goodies, the gloss and polish are inside a purse for each of them: one is gold, the other black.

I plan on making sugar cookies either tomorrow or Monday before a doctor's appointment. I can frost them on Tuesday and get a head start on Christmas dinner. Christmas at our house is VERY laid back; in fact, it's also known as "pajama day." My boys and I stay in our jammies (jogging outfits) and lounge around, play board games, watch t.v., and of course eat.

My Mom and brother will come over, but they probably won't stay very long.

I get to deliver the sermon next Sunday, so I'll pro'ly spend some time this week tweaking and practicing what I've written. My pastor can preach without notes, but I'll have to work up to that. I can teach English lessons without notes every day, but this is different. I want to make sure I share exactly what God gave me last week without getting side-tracked, so I will have my notes in front of me the whole time.

Have a fantastic evening! I love you!

content

Today started off pretty badly.

I average grades weekly so that my students have an idea of how well (or how poorly) they're doing. This morning, though, was depressing: 72 folks are failing or close to failing my class.

Hmph.

However, I can honestly say that I am doing all that I can to help them succeed. The ones who want to meet success are doing so, and I must focus my attention on them when I feel discouraged by the others.

Overall, I am quite content with my life. I enjoy my church family, I love not only my biological children but also the kids in my classroom, and my friends bless me every day.

Life is good!

grown-up time

Today I desperately needed some adult conversation, and I got it!

I also needed some hugs, and I got those too. What made that so enjoyable is that I didn't need to ask; several folks simply walked up and gave me the most awesome hugs ever. [Thanks, God!]

A friend of mine asked if I wanted to go out this evening, so I did. What a fabulous night!

Tomorrow will be wonderful simply because it will start with the worship service at church. After that, I will go to a Christmas party with a friend, and I should be home by 6:00 to do laundry and grade some papers.

It sounds hectic, but my schedule is actually lovely. I hope your Sunday is special!

nice Friday evening

I spent the entire evening with firstborn son, and it was so much fun!

When I was still at work, my little one called to ask permission for Grandma to take him out to dinner. When I asked if child #1 was going, I could hear him in the background saying, "No, I'm not."

So I decided to spend some time with him. We went to dinner, spent an hour looking at cards at Gorant's and opening every musical card we could find. [I'm sure that made the Gorant people quite happy.]

Once during dinner he said, "You know, Mom, you are really beautiful now."

That part was really nice, but I couldn't help but wonder "As opposed to what?"

Then he said, "I saw pictures of you when I was little, and you looked, well, gay."

Niiiiiiice.

I laughed, but he's probably right. I LOVE really short hair because it's so dang easy to take care of. With my naturally curly hair, I didn't even need a comb! All I did was wash it, put some Paul Mitchell awapuhi leave-in conditioner in, run my fingers through my hair once, and voila! Ready to go to work! :o)

On the way home, he said, "You know, Mom, I actually had fun. I enjoyed hangin' out with you!"

That, my friends, is one of the best gifts my kid could give me.

laughter

Hi, folks!

I have smiled non-stop for the last 2 1/2 hours! My niece, Lina, had me cracking up! We laughed so much that tears were in our eyes!

What a fantastic way to get ready for bed! :o)

Prayer request

Hi, ladies!

How are ya? I'm hanging in there, but I have a little prayer request.

As you may know, I haven't been feeling well since February, but I finally went to the doctor.

I didn't like the expression on his face as he tried to explain my options. [Sorry, Doc, but I think you would suck at poker!] I asked him to tell me bluntly what's going on with my body.

He said that I may have cancer and proceeded to explain all of my options, the risks of surgery, etc. I'm already scheduled for a small procedure next Wednesday. He didn't want me to panic (ummm... ok....I won't panic...), and I'm waiting for his office to call with the results from the biopsy. If they're positive for cancer, then I need another surgery as soon as possible, which means my Christmas/New Year holidays will be spent recuperating.

There's still good news here: even if I have cancerous cells, it's curable with an operation. Yay! More good news: I have wonderful insurance, and I'll hardly notice the medical bills. ;o)

[I'm trying to stay upbeat here...see????]

I'm sure I'll be fine, no matter what happens. I find myself freaking out at times, though. That's when I just need a hug; I hope I get lots of them in the next couple of weeks.

I need a hug right now, but the only ones nearby are my kids. They don't know all the gory details; they just know I'm sick. My Mom has her own health issues to worry about; I wish I just had someone to hold me for a second.

Hug me when you see me, k?

It's DEFINITELY time to pray:

God, I know I'm not the only person to deal with such a devastating piece of news from a doctor, and I'm very grateful that surgery is an option. So I'm sorry for bothering you, but please take away this fear. I don't want this to occupy every waking moment; it's hard for me to concentrate at work too. Thanks for healing me, if that's what you choose to do! If not, then I accept that too. Please guide the surgeon's hands next week.

Thanks for my life, Lord! It's a good one, and I love every minute of it. Use me to bless others, God. Instead of letting me start a pity party, I pray that you give me opportunities to minister to other women in the days to come. Let me enjoy your presence during my private prayer/worship times, and please bless the folks who are reading this prayer. We love you, Lord. In Jesus' name, amen.

I'll keep praying for myself, and I will continue to pray for you too, as always. Thanks for thinking of me today. Take care, and God bless! Remember: God is good ALL the time!!!!!

Gifts

Thanksgiving may be over, but I'm still going to make an effort to keep a grateful attitude. Today was a blessing! Here's a little bit of what I've experienced today:

1.) My students were PHENOMENAL!!!! They paid attention to a short lesson and then tried their best to apply what I illustrated for them.

2.) The women's Bible study went incredibly well! I LOVE when they're pondering new concepts, thinking about ways in which the lesson applies to their lives, and asking questions when ideas don't seem to make sense. Tonight for a few minutes they were the teachers as they gave me some advice on some personal issues. This group of ladies is amazing.

3.) After the Bible study, I spent a few minutes chatting with our Pastor. Believe it or not, God had the women discussing the same ideas that Pastor was contemplating in his office during our Bible study. Cool, eh?

4.) When I walked into the house, a big gift from my friend, Kim, was waiting for me on the kitchen table. THANK YOU, Kim! These are my first two Christmas presents! As soon as I figure out what I did with my digital camera, I'll post some pictures. Your present will be in the mail shortly...I just have a little bit more to crochet. I hope you like the colors!

Those are the blessings from my day in a nutshell. God is wonderful, isn't He?

smiling

This afternoon, I went to an ordination service. I don't really know Luke very well, but I've chatted with soon-to-be-Mrs.-Luke a few times. Our church was invited, and I've never been to an ordination. Since I've decided to acknowledge my call to teach (not necessarily preach), I wanted to see for myself what happens at an honest-to-goodness ordination.

I got choked up several times. What a beautiful, moving service!

Someone reached out and punched my arm as he walked past in the recessional. As a reflex, I punched back....at the guy who happens to be second-in-command of our area churches.

Oops.

He started it, though! ;o) Don't worry; he's actually a friend of mine, but he's also way up there as far as church hierarchy is concerned.

Anyway, he later had some words of encouragement that were right on time. I haven't shared my more recent struggles with anybody, so I know that God was speaking to him. God sees you right where you're at, you know?

I also enjoyed some fellowship with my friend, Nancy, her husband, and my pastor. I also met a gal named Audra who is compassionate and kind. We prayed together before departing, and I hope that God blesses her family (especially her son) immensely.

Then I was able to shave 15 minutes off of my drive home because my pastor asked if I wanted to follow him cuz he knew a shorter route.

Nice.

The tail end of the drive was a bit difficult because a headache was forming. Headlights are no joke, eh? I can't wait until tomorrow; I have a doctor's appointment, and I should find out whether or not I'm a candidate for surgery. If I am, then the surgery coupled with the proper meds might eliminate my headaches for good. Yay!!!!

How was your day?

peaceful day

Well, as usual, my ex canceled the plans he made with my boys. I didn't have my hopes up in the first place, but he is the one who asked to have them overnight. As far as I can remember, that was the first time this year when he initiated that.

Oh well.

Today still had some pretty wonderful moments, like getting hugs from D., J., S., D., and T.

Nice!

Hugs rock!

I hope you're having a restful weekend. Peace!

Crazy traffic

My boys wanted to go to the mall this afternoon, so I bravely dropped them off at the entrance.

Have I mentioned that I don't like crowds? Or bumper-to-bumper traffic?

As usual, my family gathered at my house for dinner yesterday, and I'm grateful it's over. There are times when I feel inadequate as a parent, and I welcomed some help from my brother. My boys didn't like it at all, but I think everything will be fine. If nothing else, they do NOT want me to ask my brother to help me discipline, so I'm hoping that the major problems I've been having with them will disappear.

Overall, they are GREAT kids!!!!!!

I think I'm just more sensitive than usual because I've been ill. Surgery should help tremendously, but that might not happen until summer. I'm trying to save my sick days in case my Mom needs me.

How was your week?

T.O.P.S.

I'm thankful to T.O.P.S.: Take Off Pounds Sensibly. It's just like Weight Watchers, but it's only $2 per week instead of $12 (and I get to spend time with my church family).

Hopefully, I will get these last few sizes off by my birthday in August.

I'll keep you posted! :o)

I won't be back until after the holiday, so....

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! God bless!

bittersweet day

Why I'm happy this morning:

1. I'm thankful that my ex and kids chose to see the show yesterday afternoon. In fact, they LOVED it! My ex said, "I was sleepy when we first got there, but that was WAY better than I thought it would be. They kept me awake the whole time!" Ummm....I suppose that's a compliment! :o)

2. My friends who played the flute and clarinet/sax gave me a present for being a good piano accompanist. They are so sweet! They've also been giving me advice on how to handle my "friend" since they'd seen him at the piano a lot lately, and I truly appreciate their godly perspective.

3. I visited another church last night, and one of my new friends could tell I was hurting. He didn't even hesitate...he plopped on the bench in front of me and simply listened and then shared about his own similar situations. [Please pray for his wife; she has been battling cancer for quite a while and wasn't feeling well last night.]

4. Pastor A. and his wife N. gave me some much needed hugs. :o)

I won't go into the reasons I've been frustrated lately. I just have to suck it up and keep plugging away at the jobs God has for me to do, both to support my family and in ministry. I should pro'ly just pray:

Lord, thanks for allowing me to cultivate the beginning of a friendship with Joe over the last few weeks. I care for him a lot, and I pray that you help me to heal from past friendships/relationships before anything serious starts to happen with Joe. I pray that your will is done in my life, especially with anyone I date. I pray that you are with me today as I teach your precious young people! Thank you for my life, salvation, family, friends and career. Thank you, Lord, for everything. In Jesus' name, amen.

Phew!

This has to be quick because I've gotta type the church bulletin and run to do a show (Guys and Dolls). I haven't been here for a few days, so here are a few reasons I feel thankful this evening:

1. JOE - what a sweetheart! We're just friends right now and probably will stay that way for a while, but it sure is nice to have him in my life right now.

2. MY CHURCH - I can't explain it, but I am sooooo anxious for church tomorrow. I miss my church family!

3. EX - Yes, I am even grateful for my ex-husband. He has been so supportive lately, and I'm thrilled that he's helping me discipline the kids. We had to get divorced for this to happen, but that's fine...my kids now know that they have TWO parents who love them enough to kick them in the patooty when they need it.

4. MY FRIENDS - Words can't express how much I love you guys. Thank you for your forgiveness when I'm stupid, love when I'm hurting, and laughter when I'm feeling afraid. FYI: I saw the doctor again last week, but I'm no longer afraid. The worst case scenario involves surgery, but I'll be healthy when it's all done.

Although I am mentioning him last, I'm thankful to have GOD in my life! He has seen me through some crazy situations, and I'm so glad that he's with me now. Life will slow down after tomorrow; I'll try to post some pics soon. Take care! Excuse the typos; I need to get started on this bulletin and then go to work...

Mom

Tonight I'm thankful for my Mom!

She was in the audience for Guys and Dolls, a musical at a local theater. I am the accompanist, and she decided to support me this evening. She loved it! She was so excited as I came from backstage...she was grinning and waving to get my attention.

I love my Mom!!!!

I enjoy playing with the band, although some of us need to learn a bit of humility before folks stop taking us seriously. We are, after all, the band - - - the show isn't about us. In fact, it's quite the opposite: no one really cares who's in the band as long as we sound great. They WILL care, though, if there's no balance or if we're rushing the singers at a maddening pace.

Church was fantastic today! I hadn't been in a service for two weeks because I missed one Sunday when my child konked his head on cement and then last Sunday for a vacation day. I have one more day to use this year, but I probably won't need it. I feel pretty refreshed, and I'm raring to go. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas!

May God bless you and yours.

Thankful for pastors (past and present)

I already thanked God for my friend, Matt, but I didn't tell you that he's also my pastor. :o) He puts up with me even when I don't feel well (which has been quite often since February), and he always has a kind, uplifting word for me. He's wonderful!

Today I ran into my old pastor. Actually, his church is next door to my new doctor's office. [I haven't had a regular gynecologist since J. was born, and he'll be 14 next week. I know, I know...shame on me.]

As I left Dr. E.'s, I saw my ex-pastor's truck and decided to stop in to see him.

God seems to know what we need, you know?

I received some not-so-encouraging news from the doctor today, yet God placed me in a situation that required me to put someone else's needs before my own. I never did get to tell him about my appointment. Instead, after talking with, listening to and praying for him, I worshiped at the piano in my old church for a couple of hours.

Isn't it fun to praise God?????

Today I was given an opportunity to minister to someone I love very much, and I don't take that for granted. We are soooooo quick to whine and complain to our pastors, but how often do we simply love on them? I don't pity my pastor (or my previous ones) because they knew what they were getting into when they chose to be spiritual leaders. However, I also know that they need prayer warriors surrounding them. We need to constantly intercede on their behalf.

Will you join me?

Let's rally around, encourage, and pray for our pastors! They pray tirelessly for us...why not do the same for them?

Why not start now?

THANK YOU, Father, for the pastors you've placed in my life! Thank you for their encouraging words, prayers, support and love! Thank you for allowing me to be blessed by them, and I pray that they feel blessed by me sometimes too.

Lord, W. was feeling a bit beaten up today, so I pray that you strengthen him. I think the battle has just begun, so he needs to rest when he can. He's a fighter, Lord, and I pray that he doesn't give up. Please let him know that you see him where he is; allow him to feel your presence, even in the darkest moments. He needs to remember that he is not perfect and was never meant to be. Let him know that he's on the right track.

Jesus, I truly thank God for You! Thank you for forgiving all of my sins. I pray that you help me to be a better woman. Lord, I love you, and I am looking forward to being used by you to spread love and joy to those who need encouragement, including pastors.

Finally, Lord, I pray for my own pastor. Please strengthen and bless him! I pray that your will is done in his life; please give him peace and joy, no matter what crazy situations may pop up at any given moment. Continue to help him keep everything in perspective, and bless every ministry in our church to do your will. Thanks for my church family, God!

In Jesus' name, amen.

Thankful for my ex-husband...

He served in the army, and he was an E-4 in Iraq when the U.S. marched into Baghdad.

Although he is my ex-husband, he will always be a friend. He cares deeply about me and the boys, even though we are no longer a family unit. He does what he can to help, and I'm grateful for that.

He supports me in everything that I do, whether it's a drama production at school or accompanying Guys and Dolls or A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum at a local theater.

I jokingly told my mother that I have quite possibly experienced the most loving, amiable divorce in the history of Ohio! :o) It was truly painless in that courtroom, and I'm glad that we agreed on everything. I've heard so many horror stories that I can't help but feel blessed because of the way my divorce occurred.

I pray, Lord, that you will continue to bless him immensely for every act of kindness and love he shows me and the boys! In Jesus' name, amen.

I'm also grateful for my friend, Joe, who was incredibly compassionate and understanding this evening. Thanks, Lord, for my friends!

My biggest blessing today: my friend, Matt

My morning began with some accolades to the big guy upstairs. Feeling content and thoroughly blessed, I praised God on my way to work. I'm in awe at how he's taking care of me and my boys! I know that the Lord is completely in control.

When I got to work, I called my friend, Matt, to ask for an appointment to see him sometime this week. He squeezed me into his busy schedule today, and I couldn't be more grateful!

Have you ever met anybody who can calm your spirit simply by being near you? If you monitored my blood pressure, you'd probably find that it goes down when he's around. Does that sound corny or unbelievable? Well, it's true. I wish everyone could have a friend like that. In fact, I hope I have that effect on other folks.

God, thank you for honoring Matt's prayer and removing that horrible headache. Thank you for blessing me with such an understanding, compassionate, empathetic, kind, silly, intelligent, loving, honorable friend who has no qualms about gently pushing me out of my comfort zones. I pray, Lord, that you would allow Matt to know how much he is loved by me and all who know him. In Jesus' name, amen.

Whew!

I just got home from a show. I played the piano, and we have at least 11 more performances before Thanksgiving.

Tonight was different from the first two though: I had to lead the music.

That may not sound like a big deal to you, but I'm spoiled! Alan usually leads the music, and he couldn't be there tonight.

I'd much rather follow than lead when it comes to entrances, scene changes, solos, etc.

Thankfully, I only made one mistake tonight, but the audience probably didn't even catch it.

I'm sooooooo sleepy. Have a wonderful evening!

Let the games begin...

We opened Guys and Dolls last night with a free performance in honor of our senior citizens. It went so well!

Tonight, however, was "Opening Night," and it had some issues:

1.) My hands kept playing chords and notes that were nowhere in the score.

2.) The gun, which was supposed to be in a holster, decided to fall from its spot and go off at an inopportune moment.

3.) A friend of mine didn't realize for almost an entire scene that the reason the audience couldn't stop giggling was because his pants were unzipped. Poor guy; nothing I said seemed to make him feel better. :o(

Tomorrow will be another busy:
1.) Doctor's appointment
2.) Try to do the bulletin for church
3.) Rake leaves
4.) Do lesson plans
5.) 8:00 p.m. performance of Guys and Dolls

I'm off on Sunday, so I'm going to sleep in. I don't have to be at the matinee performance until 2:00; yay! For now, I better get some sleep. Goodnight!

bizarre moments

I am so grateful for my teaching job! I enjoy teaching, and I couldn't imagine doing anything else with my time during the day.

However, sometimes parents are bizarre. I had a parent call and fuss at me because his child had so many check marks on his paper. When I asked him what he meant, he said, "Quit picking on my son! What's with all of that writing? Why do you have to write so much on his papers?"

Wow.

In my world, that's called "grading."

A couple of hours after that phone call, it was time to see his son in class. Unfortunately, he had a book bag, which is against school policy. When I told him to put it away and get a tardy pass back to class, he decided to leave school property and skip my class. When I called home to let Dad know that his son was truant, he said, "Yeah, I know. He's here with me. He's allowed."

Really?

Wow again.

There are certain folks in politics who want to pay me based on the performance of my students. I'd like to see how they'd handle my class load if they were in my shoes. And what would that do to our special education departments? I know a woman who runs a business with her MH kids, and she does a phenomenal job with them. They can't read, but she uses pictures with the words underneath to try and get them familiar with letters anyway. She is amazing! Does she deserve less on her paycheck because her kids won't ever pass a proficiency test?

Sometimes student success is simply their responsibility, and parents should be encouraging them to set high goals for themselves. I'm doing what I can, but I wish folks who make the rules would try a little harder to understand and empathize.

boldness

My students have no doubt that I will protect them to the best of my ability.

My children know exactly what I expect from them at all times.

I can easily share the gospel with others, even strangers.

I have no qualms about defending underdogs, especially those who are "right" but too afraid to speak up.

It has become second-nature for me to apologize for my boldness, but this evening I can honestly say that I'm glad God created me this way. Thank you, Lord!

John McCain's concession speech

I just watched it.

Wow.

What an articulate, classy, admirable man.

I knew I'd pray for whoever won the election.

Might as well start now...

Lord, Barack Obama has been chosen by the people of the United States as our next President, and we ask that you would give him wisdom as he embarks on this journey. Although his political background is extensive, walking in the shoes of the President is something he hasn't done yet. Please protect him, Lord, and surround him with men who have his best interests in mind. Give him discernment on whom to trust. Equip him to do all that you're calling him to do. Strengthen his marriage, Lord, and protect his loved ones, especially his family. Bring him peace as he remembers his grandmother. In Jesus' name, amen.

What am I thankful for?

The Momma of one of my friends invited bloggers to write about at least one gift from God every day this month. I'm game! Let's see...

I'm thankful today for my boys. My kids are amazing! Yes, they are a handful at times, but they also bless me.

For instance, my son spent his lunch money on a belt. He didn't want to bother me for money, so he took it upon himself to buy what he needed at K Mart.

Isn't he sweet?????

(By the way, he was immediately reimbursed.)

My other little one, who is actually taller than me now, has a big heart too. He's quick to help me in the yard and rarely gives me any problems.

Thanks, God, for my kids! I also appreciate the opportunity to vote this week. I never want to take our democracy for granted.

I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Adios.

"on the warpath"

That's what we used to say when our teachers were mad at us.

I suppose that could be said of me today.

Although I love my students dearly, they get on my last nerve...and then stomp on it.

I have stripped them of all possible bonus points for the second quarter due to lack of work and sickeningly low grades. I have also restricted access to passes, even to the bathroom and the nurse.

The majority of them had A averages. What happened? They chose not to prepare for a major exam, and 80% of them failed it. They also have a MAJOR reading project due tomorrow, and I'm afraid they're going to bomb that too...even though they've had more than two months to prepare for it.

I am determined to see these grades improve, whether or not they like me anymore.

Hmph.

feelin' a bit irritated

My Dad used to say, "If it's not one thing, it's another." If he felt particularly frustrated, he would say, "I can't do wrong right."

Sometimes I feel that way too.

For instance, we use a computer program at church for payroll. One would think that a college educated woman would be able to push the right buttons to print paychecks, right?

Ummm....

It's not working, and I can't exactly call for help at 6:30 a.m., can I?

But I have an amazing friend who can fix this. I just wanted to do it myself, you know?

Hmph.

And one of my classes bombed a test after they heard every answer during a class discussion the previous day. I had one "A," one "B," and the rest "F's."

Double hmph.

I wonder what the rest of my day will be like...

Can you handle it?

How do you react to compliments?

I know it's a strange question, but I honestly have a hard time listening to a string of compliments. I tend to get uncomfortable. In fact, I prefer being behind the scenes, allowing others to shine in the spotlight.

I'm perfectly content being hidden from view.

A couple of incidents happened this week that caused me to reflect on my own behavior. Instead of trying to become invisible, I think I'll simply say, "Thanks!" and smile instead of immediately changing the subject.

Sounds like a plan, eh?

social life

I'm meeting some friends on Saturday. Can you believe it? I'm starting to have a life outside of work (part-time jobs), church (volunteer positions) and school (teaching). Yay!

Yep, I'm going to hear my friend, Gary, play the keyboard and sing at a restaurant Saturday evening. Wanna come? :o)

I need to do something to get my mind off of these papers. My students aren't studying. :o( They had a vocabulary test today, and I am more than a little miffed at their performance.

"Trick-or-treating" is tomorrow, but I have to work. :o( I am NOT thrilled about leaving my house empty on Halloween. Last year some kids did so much damage that a local grocery store closed. Pray, ok?

How was your day?

ER

I HATE going to the doctor.

My body has been ornery since February, and I finally drove myself to the hospital.

After it was all said and done, I've discovered that I have a hormone problem. I am officially too stressed out. The doctor even made me put down the papers I was grading. [Yes, I took tests to the hospital: why waste an entire evening looking at the walls?]

Stress is making my body act weird, and that's why I'm a nut.

They make good drugs for that, and I'm gonna make an appointment to get me some soon. ;o)

Actually, I'm kidding, but I do have to see a gynecologist to see about some meds that should help.

I almost went back to church to organize music for tomorrow, but I've decided that the service would have gone on with or without me. I think I need a night off. Badly. In fact, in a few minutes I'm going to go to Melanie's house. I saw her tonight when she yelled at me in the hospital.

This is what happened:
1.) I called my boss (Terri) to ask her to pray for me since I was on my way into the ER.
2.) Terri called my friend, Lisa, to let her know.
3.) Lisa called Melanie, who promptly showed up at the ER to ring my neck for not telling her myself that I was going to the hospital.

She did NOT, however, ring my neck because I had a witness present: my friend, Janet, was already there!

I feel so loved. These ladies don't know about this blog, or I would thank them again here.

I'm off to check my AOL e-mail, and then I'm going to worship with Melanie (who, by the way, promised to come to church tomorrow).

Yay!

What a wonderful day!

How does one motivate?

That's the question of the day.

At two of my jobs, I'm not experiencing much success at motivating others to do what they should be doing. I'm afraid to get into too much detail here, but I'm VERY interested in your responses.

What do you think?

What motivates YOU?

opportunity flopped

What the heck happened to these incredible, amazing, talented students since yesterday?????

They bombed the test today.

Judging from some of their answers, a few never bothered to read the stories.

Hmph.

I need to relax before I have to go to work tonight. I think I'll see if I can go on a walk with my friend, Janet.

Have a wonderful weekend!

pep rally

Well, we canceled 7th period to have a pep rally in the stadium.

Um, ok.

The kids kinda sorta paid attention, but it was silly to me. All day long we force them to be quiet and work, and what do they do at the pep rally?

Sit quietly.

No one jumped up and shouted.

Very few were vocal at all.

The only kids moving were the band members and cheerleaders (who were, by the way, phenomenal).

What the heck?

Good mornin'!

So....

I have played "Mama" to quite a few of my colleagues this week, and it's nice to know that they trust me.

It's even nicer to know that, even in the midst of my own chaos, I have a calming effect on others. (Trust me...it has NOT always been that way!)

I almost jumped into "Momma mode" with a total stranger last night.

She was yelling at the cashier for NO REASON. I kid you not. I think she needed some meds or something. Everybody heard every word she said, and she threatened to try to get the cashier in trouble by calling the manager and store owner.

Have I told you that I hate bullies? It is such a struggle not to intervene, even when I don't know the individuals.

As I turned to watch this chick put on a show (in front of her own two children, who no doubt are learning this behavior), I began to tire of her verbal abuse and was about to do something about it when my son grabbed my purse and said, "No, Mom."

Well, all I was going to do is ask her if I could have a word with her in private. Then I would deal with her exactly as I do any irate, frustrated kid: get down to the nitty gritty of what's causing the unacceptable behavior. Hurting people hurt people, and I have a hunch she was in emotional pain.

How cool would it have been to talk to her and , quite possibly, end up bringing her to Bible study next Monday?

Alas, my son was mortified, and the more I listened to this lady, the more she seemed a bit crazy. But prayer changes things, doesn't it?

Unfortunately, she left before I made up my mind what to do. If my son hadn't been with me, it would have been a no-brainer. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, though. Besides, what if God was speaking to his heart and trying to prevent me from getting into a tango with a serial killer? You never know.

Pray for her, ok?

Let me leave you on a happy note: Of 165 kids, 163 are passing (and 69 are A's)! Woo hoo!!!!!!

I'm determined; just once I'd like to see everyone pass. I won't lie though; if they earn an F, well....

Bravo!!!!

Congrats to my friends, the choir directors, where I work! I accompanied two songs at their preview choir concert tonight, and all of the choirs did a phenomenal job!!!!!

Twice I was mistaken for the choir teacher: I had to ask some folks to move out of seats that were needed for the choirs, and I thought one lady was going to try to knock me upside the head. (Quite frankly, I was too tired to care about being insulted. Some folks are ghetto and simply have no home training. It's just sad to see in such an older woman.)

The highlight of my evening was having two different toddlers want me to hold them. They were so cute (although unrelated), and it was nice to have a little one in my arms for a change. One little boy cried because he wanted me to hold him, and his Mom (and grandma) decided to let me. He just wanted to be up with me since I had given my seat to one of the choir kids.

The kids are talented, and I'm so proud of them, but I'm even more impressed with my friends, Mr. R. and Mr. M., who are consistently able to pull some amazing sounds from them.

I never cease to be amazed!

Teaching

Man, oh man....I needed a hug today.

I needed a hug so badly that I asked for one.

And got several. :o)

Teachers of the world....UNITE for a great big 'ol bear hug!!!!!

Wouldn't that be cool? We should all ban together at the end of every school day and simply encourage one another and hug...no complaining allowed.

Whaddya think about that?

My friend, P., was so frustrated today that, although he saw me walking down the hall with my supper in a plastic container at 4:45 p.m., he stopped me to chat for 45 minutes. He just needed to vent for a while and find a bit of empathy in a colleague. Hopefully, I helped him just a bit. If not, then at least he got a hug.

Have you hugged a friend today?

There's something powerful and soothing about human touch. I need it, and so do my students and my own children.

Don't you?

Unfortunately, because we live in such an incredibly litigious society, I don't dare hug my students anymore. It's just too dangerous, and our board has already believed heresay over an eye witness account in the case of one of my friends.

I can't afford to put myself in that kind of situation.

I wonder why students think we're out to get them. They seem to believe that their teachers, including me, can't wait to fail as many as possible. Why do they think that? Does it really seem plausible that someone would go to college, earn a degree, and go through the stress of teaching (especially teenagers whose hormones are raging constantly) solely in order to fail kids?

That's so silly.

Let's pray:

God, thanks for allowing all of us to have jobs that allow us to interact with your children. Each and every one of us, whether we're stay at home Moms or business owners, has an opportunity to brighten someone's day, and we ask that you help us to do just that!

Jesus, please touch P.'s heart. He's so frustrated, but I know that you can give him peace, even during a trying time in his life. Let him know how to effectively teach his classes. None of them are stupid, and all of them can achieve. Bless his classroom with an atmosphere that is tranquil and conducive to learning.

Give all of our students a desire to achieve more than they ever thought possible! Help all of us to remember that kids have bad days too. Lord, I pray that you are with us always. What else can I do to be pleasing in your sight? Just let me know, and I'm there! In Jesus' name, amen.

priorities

I ran into an old friend today when I filled up my little car, and I heard some encouraging words. That was nice (and very much needed).

I also ran into a friend on Friday, and I got her number. She and I will definitely be spending some time together, which is a blessing because we haven't been in contact for at least 19 years! :o)

For far too long, I have neglected some folks that I love. I am definitely guilty of putting work before home, and that needs to change as well.

I am in the process of rearranging some priorities, and I am requesting prayer as I grow. Here we go:

God, thank you for allowing me to know you personally. I need help, God! Please let me hear your voice, especially about how I'm supposed to do all you're calling me to do. I know I'll need to shed some extracurricular stuff, but it's so hard...

Lord, thanks for my family and friends! I pray that you watch over my brother, who was supposed to continue his dialysis treatments. Please give him wisdom on how to take care of his body, and don't let him get frustrated or fearful.

I'm also trying to shed some unhealthy relationships and cultivate friendships that I think are aligned with what I'm supposed to do. At the same time, though, I don't want to hurt anyone, Lord. Give me wisdom on how to do that.

Finally, Father, I pray that every single person who reads this blog will be blessed with your love and joy! I pray that they receive peace and grace from you on a regular basis! I pray that they also feel your presence with them during the coming week!

Thank you, Lord, for watching over me. Remove everything in my heart, mind, and soul that doesn't reflect you or your word. Mold me into a better mother, worship leader, Bible study teacher, English teacher, and friend. Use me, Lord, to bring lots of folks into Your kingdom! In Jesus' name, amen.

liberty

Have you ever heard that scripture that says, "Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty"?

What exactly does that mean to you?

My thoughts: When I allow the Holy Spirit to direct my path, then I am able to enjoy true freedom. Worship itself tends to be much more enjoyable and uplifting if everything in my life lines up completely with the word of God.

My heart is truly free at the moment, and I praise God for that!

I also thank the Lord for a friend who went on a walk with me today. I LOVE when friends pray for me aloud. It's such a touching act of love, isn't it?

As I reflect on some stumbling blocks in my recent past, I realize that some of the frustrations I've had are my own durn fault. :o)

I know that I will need to shed some friendships that leave me feeling empty and hollow. Friendships shouldn't do that, should they? I will also create some healthier boundaries, both at work and in my private life. I'm new at this, especially the dating part, but I know that Jesus will give me peace.

Let's pray:

Lord, you are officially invited to be by my side every minute of every day! I want you near, and I have thoroughly enjoyed the time you've spent with me lately. Thank you for letting me hear your voice loud and clear, and I truly appreciate a "heads up" about two situations in particular.

Father, I pray that your will is done. I love you! In Jesus' name, amen.

Pictures of a walk I took when I was missing my Dad

Every now and then I take a moment to visit my old stomping grounds, especially when I'm having a particularly difficult day because I miss my Dad. This week included one of those visits to H------. It wasn't a very long trip, though, since I only live 15 minutes away. :o)

Totally a novice when it comes to photography, I took these pics recently when I walked through my old neighborhood. My pictures don't do justice to the colors God uses to paint his landscapes. This tree has some amazing reds and oranges...beautiful!

This one's a bit fuzzy, but at least you can see the bright colors of the leaves. The Lord's not dull, eh? If this happens every single year, can you imagine what heaven will be like?



It's sad; I attended junior high for two years yet never noticed how beautiful the front yard was in October.

This is where I had my first crush (Greg), got bulky braces, accompanied the choir for the first time, and decided to become a teacher. (Thanks, Mr. Timlin!)



Although this is only approximately 1/10 of my high school, you can still get a feel for the architecture. My main concern at the time was focusing on the foliage.


Unfortunately, this didn't exist when I was kid...



...and neither did this. In fact, both of these cozy sections of town were only a parking lot for the old 9th grade building which has since been demolished. Nice improvement, eh?


Don't these leaves make you want to reach up and touch them? You can't tell from the picture, but they're actually 30-40 feet high.


How did you spend your day? For me, it was business as usual even though the kids didn't have school (NEOEA Day: Northeast Ohio Education Association Day). That means I spent most of the day in a professional development class. The instructor was Mr. J. who happened to be one of my Dad's best friends. Seeing him is always emotional because he and my Dad were inseparable. I suppose it goes without saying that I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I met someone today and gave him a big 'ol hug when he said, "So, Michelle, are you in high school or have you started college already?"

Nope...he wasn't joking! :o)

Ha! It seems that I get that reaction when I wear less make-up. Hmmm....maybe I'll wear no make-up for a while and see what happens...

Nah.

Too chicken.

And besides, the boys and I have an appointment to get Christmas photos taken tomorrow morning. I'm purchasing a small package so that family in other states can see how much my boys have grown. Have a blessed weekend!

9 gone!

Remember those six pounds I gained? They're gone, along with three of their friends! Woo hoo! :o) Don't worry; I know I lost it pretty quickly, but I'm still eating. Walking at work before the kids arrive is helping, though.

I had some pretty bizarre dreams last night. One involved my friend, Annette, preaching, but then she stopped right in the middle of the sermon. The other involved some pretty heavy spiritual warfare. They could be meaningless, but sometimes my dreams/visions come true. So let's pray for Annette, ok?

When I have more time, I will post some beautiful pics I took while I was waiting for a band rehearsal to start. I'll try to show them to you tonight.

Love you!

Thanks for praying!

Well, I certainly can tell that someone has been praying for me! :o)

The women's Bible study went extremely well this evening, and we went over our 1-hour time limit because there were so many questions! Yay!!!! I didn't have an answer for one of them, so I'll have to wait for my pastor to come back from vacation to see if he can elaborate.

One young lady said, "You know, I was so tired and had talked myself out of coming tonight. But I'm so glad that I'm here!" Double yay!!!!!

Then, as I washed the dishes and cleaned the stove before coming downstairs to blog and type an important letter, my son said, "You know, Mom, do you realize that you're doing single-handedly what it took Grandma and Grandpa two people to do? Grandma said you might be feeling like a failure, and she was crying tonight because she said that you treat her well, and it hurts her to see bad things happen to you all the time. And Mom, you're not a failure! You're raising two teenage boys all by yourself, and you're not a failure."

Wow.

All of that from child #1?

You KNOW that's God, especially after this weekend!

The beauty of it all is that he sincerely meant it. He smiled and cheerfully helped me in the kitchen, and I'm so grateful for such a quick answer to prayer. THIS is the child I know and love!!!!!!

God really DOES answer prayer, doesn't He? I prayed for myself tonight at the Women's Bible study, and I hope that my son will see answers to those prayers too.

Peace.

Bible study

I get to meet with the ladies tonight, and that's always fun!

This week should go pretty quickly since we only have four days of school. Friday is NEOEA Day (Northeastern Ohio Education Association Day). That means the kids are off from school while teachers across Ohio will attend workshops.

I started Weight Watchers again too. [I'm not paying for meetings, though, since I already know the plan backwards and forwards.] As I stated in an earlier post, my little one had me stressed out this weekend...and I ended up gaining six pounds.

I need to structure myself. As long as I keep track of every single morsel I put in my mouth, I should be fine. I need to start NOW, though, since Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner!

This time around, I'm not going to worry about getting into a size 6 or 8 as quickly as possible. Instead, I'm going to take baby steps. It may take me a year, but I'd rather have regular, slow progress than a quick weight loss that results in gaining the weight back. Please pray for me, ok?

I have to get ready for work. But my lunch is already packed! :o)

May you have a blessed week!

rough start...better ending

My weekend began with some tension between my older kid and myself. I vented in a blog...posted about his misbehavior and my lack of understanding as to how to fix it...then I deleted the whole thing. :o)

Here's what happened after some private prayer time this morning:

We had a great day at church, and the message was wonderful. There were moments, though, when I thought the guest pastor was speaking over heads of some folks. He still did a pretty good job though.

After church, I took my boys out for pizza, and we actually had a wonderful time! Then I dropped them off at the mall while I went to work at job #2: piano player for a local theater.

On the way home my ex called the boys, and child #1 explained what he did and why Mom was "really mad." Dad, thankfully, gave me some parental support.

There is no tension in my house at the moment, and I praise God for that! :o) Hopefully, the days of challenging Mom are over, although I'm not naive enough to think that's true. For the time being, I'm simply going to rest in the knowledge that God heard my prayers this morning, and I'm grateful for that.

I hope all is well in your world!

God bless!

unexpected finances

God is so sweet, isn't He?

For several years, I have been struggling financially through no direct fault of my own. I suppose you could argue that I would have had less financial trouble if I had divorced my husband long before January of this year, but I simply wasn't ready. Let's leave that line of thinking for the time being.

Now for the good part...

I worked on my finances last night, and I'm pleased to say that God is wonderful! I will be able to take care of everything and pay off a couple of things by Christmas. I was approved for a raise I thought I wouldn't get because it's been at least 10 years since I took two of those graduate classes. What's even nicer is that the raise is retroactive to January 1st of this year, which means I'll get a lump sum check next month.

Today I received a check in the mail returning the security deposit on the last car I leased. :o) [I had misunderstood the letter; I was preparing to pay that amount!]

And both freezers and the refrigerator are full.

And the utilities are all paid up.

And my mortgage has been paid on time.

All this so soon after a divorce? It's certainly not MY doing! I give all the glory and praise to God! He said He'd never leave or forsake me, and guess what? He meant it!

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because God doesn't have favorites! If He'll bless me like this, then it only stands to reason that He's ready and waiting to surprise you too! Keep your eyes open; I'm praying for you!

patience, Michelle...

I feel like a kid who's about to get a grown up (instead of baby-sized) ice cream cone for the first time.

There are so many parts of my life lining up right now, and I'm downright giddy!

I gave a test last week, and 119 (of 166) earned an A!

My attitude is surprisingly upbeat and positive! (I feel liked I used to before singlehood popped me upside the head.)

My Mom and I haven't had a disagreement in years.

My church is FUN!

My kids are blessings! (And for a minute there I thought they couldn't possibly get on my nerves more.) My children are truly wonderful people, and I'm not just saying that because I birthed 'em.

I hope my joy overflows into your life somehow. Let's pray:

God, I have had more than my share of heartache, and I'm amazed at what you've done to heal me! Thank you for allowing me not only to enjoy your presence, even as I worshiped alone last night, but also for allowing me to share your love with other folks. I look forward to whatever you plan to do next!

Please bless my internet buddies, God! If they have businesses, allow them to enjoy a windfall! If they have children, allow them to witness spiritual, mental, and physical growth. If they have concerns and anxiety, remove all of that and replace it with joyful anticipation of what You have in mind for their lives. Give them a vision of that, Lord!

Father, You know the desires of my heart, so I won't repeat myself and bore You. I'm ready and waiting for your Holy Spirit to teach me lots of new ideas today and this week. Help me to forgive those who have deliberately (and perhaps accidentally) hurt me. In Jesus' name, amen!

reality

Well, I had a rather brutal moment yesterday: one of my students said, "Hey, Ms. S., my godfather told me all about you! He said he had you years ago and that he thinks your tests are cool!"

Ummm...the compliment is nice. Sometimes I embed a puzzle within the answers of my tests so that kids can figure out the pattern, even if they can't remember one or two details.

...but his godfather had me?

Geez.

Now that I think about it, though, my own son is a sophomore, so it's perfectly natural to think that I'm now teaching children who could very well be the offspring of my former students.

In fact, my first set of kids was only five years younger than me at the time...

...which means they are now 33 years old.

Wow.

It's been a few days...

This is my beautiful Momma leaning on my car. Once in a while, when I have some free time on a Saturday morning, I treat her to breakfast at Perkins. She LOVES steak omelets, although she can never eat such a huge plate of food. This past Saturday I had one of those wonderful opportunities to chit chat with her for a whole hour. While we were waiting to be seated, I ran into some old students (who are in their mid-twenties now):



I had a better picture, but it included a child...I'd rather not post that one.

On a happy note, these girls are a hoot! I love them! They ALWAYS made me smile with their energy and silliness. Some things never change...

This morning I spoke with a friend of mine concerning an opportunity to lead worship. We got goosebumps as we shared ideas/visions about ministry, and I can't wait to see what God is going to do next!

I will keep you posted. I hope you have a fabulous evening!

Good mornin'!

HI, ya'll! I got LOTS of sleep last night, and I feel terrific!

How are you?????

I hope all is well in your world. I'm off to work in a few minutes; today is the last day of the practice OGT (proficiency test) for the 9th grade. Four long days are almost over.

I get to actually teach tomorrow! Yay!

Lord, I pray that everyone has a wonderful day! Help us to minister to those who are hurting, and please give us what we need for today. Please bless those who have been displaced due to all of the inclement weather. Thanks, Lord! In Jesus' name, amen.

ministry stuff again

Hi guys! I'm in a pretty chipper mood, and I praise God for that!

Deep down, though, I'm still battling some stuff. Please pray for me, ok? I'm pretty sure it's just a plain 'ol attack of the enemy, but he's playing dirty.

I suppose it's silly to expect him to play any other way.

I need to get it together before 6:00 this evening, though, when I have to teach the women at Bible study. How will I be able to minister to their hurts and wounds if I'm aching?

For those of you in ministry: how do you cope? I welcome any input. I doubt that there are very many women's ministry folks reading this blog, so your ideas are incredibly valuable at the moment. I'm still "pressing toward the mark," but I'm getting really tired. The work itself is fine, but the emotional and spiritual aspects of ministry are kicking my behind. There are also two personal issues that have my head spinning. Don't be offended because I'm keeping them private; I just don't know if any students have found this blog yet....hence my hesitance on sharing details. :o)

I will write again soon. Love you.

Nice party!

Good evening! I just got home from a birthday party, but I wanted to post some pictures of my classroom too. This first one is of my "Star Students" bulletin board. Every month I choose two kids from each class to be my "star students." They don't necessarily have to have A averages; students can earn that title simply by being the most improved. Each student earns 50 bonus points (the equivalent of two homework assignments) and a candy bar.


I keep this humorous reminder on my desk at all times. This caricature has paper airplanes in her hair; I had a pencil thrown at me last week. He thought he'd be clever and then get kicked out of class. Instead, I told him that his punishment was to stay with me the entire class period. He also had his seat changed....to be closer to moi.



This is another view of the back wall. I have a lot of cupboard space this year. Last year I had none.



My little great-niece is more interested in watching the cheerleaders than my son play football. :o)



Meet Shiloh. He is half husky, half German shepherd. Don't let his looks fool you; I've seen him get ferocious when he thinks my friend (his Mama) is threatened. He's an awesome watchdog.


A friend's daughter had her sweet 16th birthday party tonight. My boys made me feel like a party pooper when I started getting too tired. I let them stay until 10:00, but that was torture since they knew it wasn't going to end until 11:00. They'll live! (I'm the one that had to drive home!)



This is one of three dogs that live in this beautiful home. I think she was getting tired of all the stimulation. I wish I could let my dog roam free....but he runs away too often.


So there you have it. That's what I've been doing with my time over the last few days. My classroom is finally exactly the way I want it, and I enjoyed the evening with dear friends. I hope all is well in your world! Love you!

r-e-l-a-x

What a gorgeous day!

I slept in until 8:30! Yay! Then my poor little doggie just had to go...

I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast and watched a little t.v.

Halfway through a show, my Mom called to invite me to lunch. So I showered, got dressed, took Jazz out a second time, put on a little lip gloss, and headed out the door.

At Red Lobster, I saw an amazing librarian I met when I was in college. She has since retired, but I love her to pieces. My Mom and I caught up on the past week, and then I took her home before heading to church to take care of a tiny bit of business.

After that, I went to the library and browsed for an hour. Although I only chose two novels, simply looking (without a child whining, "Can we leave now?!?") was heavenly!

I am not allowed to teach this week (until Friday) because I have to administer a practice OGT to my students. That's why I wanted to grab some good books from the library this weekend. My lesson plans are done through November, so I'll have plenty of time to read at work this week. Both of the books I chose happen to be by Ted Dekker. I have only read one of his books (Three), and it was awesome. He is a fascinating writer and loves writing suspense as much as I enjoy reading it.

In a few minutes I am going to relax some more by crocheting a blanket for my friend, Kim. It is taking me forever to get this done, but that's ok because my love is going into it. :o) It's halfway done now; Lord, please help me to at least get it to her by Christmas, maybe even Thanksgiving!!!

I have agreed to take my boys to a birthday party this evening, and I think I'll stay and talk to the adults since it's at a dear friend's home. I haven't had such an enjoyable, calm day in quite a while. Thank you, Lord!

tension

I don't like working in a tense environment.

I also don't enjoy being forced to confront a superior.

Fortunately, God is helping me to shut my mouth in front of others and open it in my private prayer time. :o)

Sometimes, though, giving in to my old nature is sooooo tempting.

I like Romans 5:3, which says, "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us - they help us learn to endure." Apparently, God has some cool stuff to teach me, eh? :o)

What if I let God write my love story?

I'm playing the piano accompaniment for a musical that will be performed in November. At rehearsal tonight, I discovered that one of the actors is also a Christian and teaches Bible study classes at his church.

How cool is that?

He also has a teaching certificate for middle and high school English.

Sounds like I'm making this up, doesn't it?

Every time the music director worked on something with another singer, Jim and I jumped right back to the topic of ministry. It was so relaxing to exchange viewpoints and opinions.

One of my girlfriends once told me, "Let God write your love story." Isn't that a cool perspective?

And yet, I've realized that I was keeping emotional distance between Jim and myself, even though I was conversing with him so often tonight.

Why?

I try not to do anything unseemly.

Yet I seem to forget that, as a divorced woman, it's appropriate to spend time getting to know other people (namely men).

Instead of writing Jim off as too young, too tall, too handsome, too thin, etc., I think I'll just enjoy the friendship. If the truth be known, I have sabotaged every single friendship that might have led to dating, quite possibly because I'm afraid to enter that world again. It wasn't entirely enjoyable the first time around.

But if God wants to let me love and be loved by this person, then there's no reason to keep looking for excuses as to why "it would never work."

God, I pray that you would change my attitude. Please help me to remember that I'm not an old prude yet. :o) Jesus, help me not to overly think about every single move I make. Instead, Lord, I'd like to simply enjoy my life, with whomever you place in it. Father, please help me to simply live. I don't want to over-analyze everything, but I also don't want to be so carefree that I accidentally fall into sin. I pray that you keep my mind on you, Lord, at all times, even as I develop friendships with others. Thank you for letting me have such an enjoyable day! I had a couple of rough spots, and I pray that you allow me to get along with everyone at work. In Jesus' name, amen.

Happy (and true) rumors

Last weekend was pretty cool.

One of my friends leaned in and said, "Hey, girl, I heard you're gonna be ordained soon!"

I caught my breath as quickly as I could, and then I replied, "Well, I think I need to get licensed first!"

For years I've had dreams of me teaching and preaching, and it's a bit unnerving to see the possibility becoming more real. The thought of giving a sermon is both terrifying and electrifying.

What if I royally screw up?

What if I can't handle the pressure when folks feel inclined to critique every word, or worse yet, misinterpret what I'm trying to say?

But then again....what if I ignore what God is calling me to do?

Maybe I'll take a class to see what seminary is like. It'll have to wait until next summer when I have much more free time. We'll see...

Blessings

I can't believe how quickly this week passed. How have YOU been?

Well, tonight I caught up on reading some of my favorite blogs, and I'm yet again in awe of my friend, Kim. I wish I could create such beautiful artistry. I'm also tickled by an adorable picture of a little "Guy"! He's so cute!

Ladies, you bless me!

I have been putting in some really long hours lately, but I feel fine! It may not be Christmas yet, but my home is filled with peace and joy!

Contentment is something that eludes me at times when I mistakenly focus on what I don't have or what I can't do. Does that ever happen to you?

Thank God my perspective is changing!

I think I'm going to make a conscious effort to change my thought life by deliberately keeping happy thoughts in my mind, especially when I feel overwhelmed or sad. I'll let you know how that goes.

I'm going with a friend to a really enjoyable gathering at a church tomorrow morning, and I'm excited to see some friends I haven't seen for several months.

One of my part-time jobs has gone from twice a week to once a week, which gives me a LOT more free time. Yay!

As for my teaching job, I am finally caught up. It took me two full weeks, but my room is exactly the way I want it, including every file and folder. My grade book is up-to-date (although I'm sure I'll have more drops and adds), textbook numbers and locker combinations are filed, bulletin boards are done, and I only have approximately three hours of grading to do this weekend.

I got a touching card from a friend yesterday, and I'm tickled that God let me receive such a wonderful gift during a hectic time. [Thank you, God!]

Although I am no longer married, I sometimes think of the Proverbs 31 woman who worked from dawn to dusk. She seemed to effortlessly juggle a marriage, a family, a home, a job, etc. I try, but sometimes I falter.

I realize, though, that God doesn't expect perfection: He'd rather have my love and obedience.

He's got them.

Peace to you, my friend.

conflict

My, oh my, what a crazy day.

I worked a ridiculously long day at school (13+ hours), and then I came home to no supper. I thought Child #1 was going to make pizza...at least that's what Mommy asked him to do. Alas, he did not.

I made hot dogs instead.

Then my own mom stopped by and needed to vent about a serious conflict between her and a sister at church.

And I....well, let's just say I'm about to create some serious boundaries for myself and those around me. I need your help, folks. Please pray that God reveals how I'm supposed to improve, not only as a church leader but also on a personal level as well.

Thanks for your prayers!

boundaries

Hey! I'm discovering how to make boundaries for myself in addition to honoring the boundaries of other people.

I met some guys at the coffee house last night, and one in particular was getting on my nerves. I've never met anyone so gifted at talking about absolutely nothing. As I listened to him complain about not being able to teach because the school board discovered that he had been convicted of a misdemeanor, I realized that I was allowing this guy to waste my time. So I interrupted him and, in the sweetest tone of voice, said, "Excuse me, but I really do have to start grading these papers."

And he walked away and sat down at another woman's table. :o)

The highlight of my evening was meeting Denny. He is a principal at a local middle school building, but he moonlights as one of the most amazing guitar players I have ever heard. He also sang with a buddy (who also had a guitar) and made some sweet harmony. Both guys brought their beautiful wives as moral support, which they sorely needed at the beginning of their performance. The sparse crowd just didn't warm up to them at first....in fact, their wives and I were the only ones clapping after each song. Thankfully, by 8:00 the room was filling up with more folks who appreciate the music of the 60's and 70's.

Something's bothering me, but I suppose I should take my own advice and just keep looking on the bright side. I hope all is well with you! I had my camera with me all day today but kept forgetting to take pictures. I'll try again tomorrow.

Peace.

Remember me????

I had a personal goal of writing on my blog at least once every day.

My lofty aspirations included sending words of encouragement and love to my internet loved ones on a regular basis.

Alas, I have failed miserably.

But I still love you!!!!!

Perhaps one really meaty entry per week will be more manageable since I'm back to work. Until then, I will write short bits and pieces as I am able. Even now, I'm under a time restraint because a friend is waiting for me to deliver something, and then I'm off to a local coffee shop to grade five more batches of diagnostic essays.

Perhaps I'll take a detour so that I can take some pictures of my beloved town. It's small, and we don't even have our own mall. (The closest one is in Niles, which is only a few minutes away.) Every time I need to drive to Columbus for meetings makes me nervous; people in big cities are so impatient on the road! Anyway, I'll try to post some pics soon.

I love you, even if I don't write as often as I did in the summer. Best wishes for a fantastic weekend! God bless!