What to do?

Sometimes I don't think I'm cut out for this thing we call "ministry," even though it's something I've long desired to explore.

I'm emotionally drained at the moment, but happy overall. I suppose I really don't have anything to complain about right now.

I had a basically good day. At one point, though, God was dealing with me on a totally uncomfortable level. Normally, I don't mind being dealt with by God, but this occurred in someone else's presence.

I hate it when that happens.

Tears were streaming uncontrollably down my face, snot was flyin'...I was a mess.

I had to get a grip pretty quickly, though.

My friend, Melanie, invited me and the boys to go to the movies with her (and her son and friends), so I went to the bathroom and washed my face. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and I couldn't breathe through my nose...

Ugh.

But I pulled myself together before I picked up my boys.

I'm better now.

We saw The Dark Knight, which I highly recommend! Melanie is a hoot and had me laughing in no time!

I'm tired, so I better pray before I get too sleepy:

Lord, sometimes I wonder why you picked me to do some stuff at church. I'm totally unprepared and downright incompetent in some ways, yet you have obviously asked me to work with the women and trustee board. I'm not even going to whine and ask "why" anymore. I'm just a bit stunned that you have me "leading" women when I obviously need so much help myself.

God, I don't try to disobey you. In fact, sometimes I'm so flustered and have no idea what to do next. Do you want me to take a job playing the piano for a local playhouse? Do you want me to wait? Should I accept the part-time tutoring and drama club jobs that I had last year?

Father, I need to hear you on this one. I don't want to do anything out of your will, and I also don't want to make decisions based on fear (about bills or lack of child support). So I'm going to trust You completely.

I wouldn't mind a little clue, though, to let me know what Your will is for my life. Am I even on the right track? Am I close? Thanks for listening, Lord. In Jesus' name, amen.