"Oh noooooo!" he screams...

When I moved into this house, there was already a refrigerator upstairs. I moved it to the basement because mine was so much bigger. The one downstairs stores frozen meat, pizzas, batches of cinnamon rolls that I make for the boys' breakfasts, gallons of milk, 5 wine coolers that I bought last year and simply haven't wanted, etc. That way, my fridge upstairs isn't cluttered.

Son #1 decided that it would be a good idea to bound up the stairs with a new gallon of milk...even though he is a klutz and falls/trips often as he is learning to navigate his 6-foot frame.

I heard, "Oh noooooo! Oh my God!" before a sickening **THUMP**.

I brought him everything he needed to mop the floor. When he was "done," I asked him if he had mopped the whole floor, and he said, "No."

Why is he such an underachiever? He is on punishment as we speak because of his lousy grades. Before I could ask my obviously vital question, I hear child #2...but I shouldn't because he should have been on his way to school 45 minutes ago!

You see, I set the alarm each evening and wake them up. In fact, as soon as I wake up one kid, I immediately set the alarm for exactly one hour later for the other one.

Why am I doing this if they're going to stay in bed and be late for school anyway?

All of this happened in the space of the first ten minutes of my day.

Then I could hear them complaining about me, which is actually a good thing. That means they're not in any danger of fighting each other since I am the common "enemy" at that moment.

Somebody please explain to me, though: how am I the cause of today's problems?

Grrr....I'm going to take a long shower and grab a book. If I were allowed to drive, I would do just that. I don't exactly live in the big city. Near my home are some peaceful, lovely roads surrounded by nature's beauty, and I love enjoying them when I'm frustrated - - but alas, I'm stranded.

Please tell me you had a better start to your morning...