What a way to wake up!

My phone rang.

And it wasn't even 7:00 a.m. yet!

It was my ex-husband calling to ask if I could come over...now.

So I did.

I figured it must be important.

I barely exited my car before he jogged over and handed me an envelope with $1,000 in it...and then promised to give me another $1,000 next month.

And this isn't even child support!

Admittedly, he didn't understand the paperwork, and we discovered that I'll be getting a LOT less than he initially told me. But that's ok - - - the good news is that I'll be getting child support at all! ;o) I am so thankful for every bit of help he offers!

And then he hugged me and said he was going to help, both with my finances and with raising my boys, as much as he could from now on.

Wow.

Thank you, God! I will definitely be giving some of this to You this morning at church. Thank you for your provision and your peace! Anxiety is no longer a part of me, and that's a miracle. Thank you for blessing me and the boys like this! You are amazing! And I pray that you move mightily in the service at church. Lord, I pray that You allow every single person to leave a bit more transformed into looking even more like You. Please continue healing hearts and bringing peace and comfort to those in need. In Jesus' name, amen.

Women's Ministry Update

I'm actually getting downright excited about starting this! I've already been praying and reading scripture. I just finished doing a bit of research on how to start an effective women's ministry, and I'm thrilled that I'm having a hard time finding anything better than what God has already given me.

That brings me comfort!

My boys were treated to Chinese food today; Grandma stopped by when I was waiting for worship team members to show up for rehearsal at church. Alas, after fifteen minutes, no one showed AND I missed out on a peaceful meal with my Mom.

Oh well.

Let's pray, shall we?

God, I pray for the worship team. This is the third time in a month that no one showed up for rehearsal; how would You like me to handle this? Please give me wisdom...I don't know what to do. I do know, though, that I'm irritated at their lack of commitment. I'd rather just plan on playing all of the music by myself. God, I'm open to whatever you want me to do.

Lord, THANK YOU for talking to me today! Remember that intense fire that was ignited when I was offered the job to be a music director? That's how I feel about this women's ministry. I'm not going to lie though, Lord. At first, I was scared to death. It took about a week before I can honestly say the fear dissipated.

But now, Jesus, I can feel you clearly guiding me down a path that is in your will. According to some experts on line, the ideas I believe you gave me are sound. Now I pray, Jesus, that you will allow me to start this without hurting any feelings. In fact, Lord, I pray that you allow the other women in my church to feel just as excited about worshiping You, reading scripture together, and praying for one another.

God, thank you for this huge amount of joy! In Jesus' name, amen.

feeling like a "girl"

It hasn't happened in a long time, but I got butterflies last night.

Yep...when a guy friend leaned close and whispered in my ear, I discovered that I'm not dead.

Good to know, eh?

I know it sounds silly, but I have to take a minute to thank God for blessing me with a friend like Kurt. No, we are not engaged. No, we are not officially "dating" or in an exclusive relationship. No, we do not talk on the phone every single day or for long amounts of time.

But he cares for me and is never, ever embarrassed to show it, even in front of other people. [I love that part!] You might remember me mentioning several times that I'm fond of hugs. Well, he's probably the best hugger I know.

Something happened last night that interrupted our plans after church, and he was worried that I might be offended. (I wasn't; stuff happens. No big deal.) But he called as soon as he got home so that he could explain that our friend, Mike, needed him and that he appreciates me as his friend.

He owes me no explanations...we are not a couple, but his reason (and willingness to share it with me) blessed my heart. I suppose something positive has resulted from my past relationship: now I appreciate the smallest acts of kindness and consideration. I take nothing for granted, and I love how he honors me, both in public and in private. No pressure...just lots of fun! I'll keep you posted...

Here's the first picture of me.

Well, this is a school picture. Teachers are always expected to get their pictures taken for the yearbook, so here is one of them.

It's ok, I suppose...but I still hate getting my picture taken, even though it must be done every September! ;o)

I'm off to get a bit of work done before I head to a worship service. Have a great weekend!

instant attitude adjustment

My day today was not easy.

I had planned to get on here and gripe, but I won't. I read someone's blog entry, and that changed my attitude instantly. (Thanks, Joyce!)

Instead, I will simply say that God is at work, both in my heart and in my head. I know what needs to be done, and I really have no choice but to get busy.

Happy note #1: I took my son to a local baseball game tonight; I think he had fun. I saw a couple of folks I hadn't seen in a long time. I love and need occasional hugs, and I got some tonight.

Happy note #2: I purposefully blessed someone at work today, and she was thrilled. I like doing stuff in secret, so I won't tell you what I did or who I did it for. Let's just say I made her smile! YAY!!!! But the truth is all of it was God's idea in the first place, so of course it went over well.

Lord, thank you for Joyce who unknowingly adjusted my attitude this evening! Keep blessing her socks off, God! I pray that you continue to use her to bless others, even through her blog.

Thanks again, Lord, for allowing me to have more fun with my kids. Although they still argue with each other, it's not nearly as life-threatening as it was last year!

Jesus, help me to reach a couple of hurting kids in my classroom. They're trying to be tough, but they just want attention and affection. Help me to show them that they are loved, right where they are. Let them see themselves as You see them! In Jesus' name, amen!

Is your "praise and worship" godly?

This question sparked an intense discussion, and I enjoyed listening to some opposing thoughts.

Apparently, some people believe that you're not really in "worship" unless you're playing/singing a slow song. If the music is fast-faced, then we're obviously allowing too much of the "world" into our religious time. And you definitely need correction if you allow yourself to listen to Christian rock because, as we all know, there is no such thing.

Huh?

According to that, then I should only play slow, soft melodies that tickle the ears during church on Sunday morning. Although I believe that this kind of music has its place, I also feel that quicker, more upbeat songs are totally appropriate at times too.

And when I find a set of drums and someone to play them, I want that to become a part of the Worship Team at church.

Am I a "sinful" Mom because I allow (and yes, encourage) my kids to listen to Family Force Five, which happens to be a heavy metal Christian rock band? I bought the CD simply because of "Love Addict," but "Earthquake" and "Drama Queen" are wonderful too. These guys definitely have a sense of humor, and they are gifted at merging that humor with a message about the Lord. Not all of their songs contain a sermon, but most do. As a mother, I am thrilled that I don't have to worry about profanity or sexual overtones in their music. Instead, my kids are singing:

"I'm blessed, I must confess
My heart is pounding in my chest
Cause this love's the best..."

They could be singing some crazy mess that I hear kids listening to nowadays, and I'm glad they prefer godly music.

I prefer godly music...even if it's not always for a traditional church service.

I think it's awfully presumptuous to assume that, simply because I enjoy Christian rock, that my "worship" isn't as holy as others. Isn't worship a private matter between an individual and God? I know for a fact (because I do it all the time) that worship doesn't have to occur only in a church. Sometimes my private worship experiences are much more intense at my own piano than at church and vice versa.

What do you think?

very pleasant surprise

I met my summer school 9th/10th grade English class, and it is lovely!

I had absolutely no discipline problems. In fact, we actually had quite a bit of laughter today! What a blessing!

I had taken a huge bag of pretzels because there's inevitably some child whose Mom forgot to send lunch money. Sure enough, there were a few, but some of the other kids asked for some munchies as well. I think they seemed quite relaxed munching on pretzels and reading. :o)

I have one young man who can't keep his eyes open because things are so crazy at home. He shared a little with me when I took him in the hallway, but I can't name him without violating his privacy. So please just pray for all of my students, ok?

I've made a couple of phone calls regarding the women's ministry I'm supposed to work on, and it's going slowly at the moment. I suppose I need prayer for that as well.

I'm exhausted, but I'd still like to go to church this evening. I want to hear a message, and I feel like praying with people. I will write more in the morning. Have a good evening!

3rd time's a charm!

Well, today is the first day of summer school, so for the next three weeks I will be teaching a week's worth of English every day to the same group of 19 kids. I will teach the first half, and Melanie will teach the second 3-week period. [That way, both of us get a nice chunk of time off for the summer!]

I love it, though!

One of my little darlings has failed me twice already. (Notice I didn't say I failed him.) At least he's already used to me, and we get along quite well. I just can't seem to get him motivated to care about his grades.

Well, Lord, I pray that you touch the minds of every student who is trying to earn some credit over the next two months. Help them to care about their futures! Help me to be effective as I teach not only 10th grade English concepts but also as many lessons as I can squeeze in about life in general (work ethic, manners, integrity, etc.).

Jesus, I am especially grateful for our new school building! Thank you for letting us be comfortable during summer school for the first time! Air conditioning is lovely!

Please protect those who must walk to school. Sometimes people speed down Atlantic St., and I pray that none of our kids will be injured this year (both in the summer and the new school year).

God, thank you for an amazing amount of blessings in an incredibly short period of time! You make me smile! In Jesus' name, amen.

I'm not kicking and screaming anymore...

My friend, Melanie, says it's not a real tantrum unless you're kicking and screaming on the floor.

I have been fighting a call on my life recently, mostly because it doesn't line up with my own plans.

Sound familiar? Have you ever felt like that?

As a result, God has been gently (but firmly) reprimanding me, nudging me to just start working on a women's ministry, and he even gave me some ideas on what to do first.

And a friend saw a vision last night and almost didn't tell me. While we were praying, she saw a tea party but was too embarrassed to say it.

So she didn't....until we were talking in the parking lot. As I told her about the ideas God gave me for a weekly women's Bible study/prayer night, she got so hyper! When I asked her about it, she said, "Michelle! I saw a tea party!"

That was confirmation for me. The previous night while praying, I saw the women meeting in different locations. We would meet in homes rather than the church, and we would enjoy fellowship before and after the actual Bible study. I saw the first one at my house, and I was serving coffee, iced tea, hot tea, and milk with some homemade cookies.

But I've been struggling with some personal issues lately, and I didn't think I was ready to be the leader of something like that.

God isn't worried at all, though! He's still pushing, and I'm still resisting....I just don't want to screw up, you know?

I shared my visions about the women's ministry with Melanie, and she got so excited and animated! She said, "Oh, Michelle! I'll come! Do you know how badly women in this area need this? Do you know how quickly it's going to explode? You have no idea, do you? You're going to minister to sooooo many women!"

That was prophecy, wasn't it?

Um...uh...did I already say that I don't think I'm ready?

Oh boy...

Then we went to lunch, and she began grace over the food with, "Lord, thank you for Michelle. She oozes joy, and I can't get enough of being near her..."

Me?

Really?

OK folks, I'm requesting prayer on this one. I am one screwed up chick at times, and I guess I'm having my Moses moment, but there's no Aaron for me to lean on!

Breathe in....breathe out...

Has this happened to you?

I got stood up by Mormons.

How sad is that?????

(sniff...sniff...)

If any of you are Mormon, PLEASE respond to what you're about to read. I am genuinely interested in finding out some answers. I will NEVER argue with you either. I'm just curious! :o)

I was soooooooo looking forward to chatting with them. I want to ask them about Galatians 1 when we're told not to accept a different gospel, even if an "angel" tells us to do so.

I want to know the rationale behind doing something that directly contradicts the word of God, a Bible that they themselves claim to read and study.

The last time one of them came to see me, I asked him to explain that, but he couldn't. I wanted to push a bit harder and start urging him by saying, "Think for yourself, man! Think!" But he got so flustered that I felt sorry for and then quickly prayed for him.

But he still left abruptly.

I like how they travel in pairs for safety. That's nice. His friend claimed that they read the same Bible I do in addition to the Mormon's Bible part 2 (sorry, I can't think of the name of it).

I also wanted to ask them about the last part of Revelation that states we're cursed if we add or take away from the Bible. How do they explain adding an entire book?

Wouldn't that be interesting to talk about? And I would be THRILLED if I could get them to attend just one of our church services! I'd like to see their reaction; I think they'd have fun.

I even made oatmeal/chocolate chip cookies to serve them. Oh well. I guess my boys will have to eat them all, and I don't think they'll complain about that. Perhaps I'll share at the executive board meeting tonight....

I'm kinda busy for being on summer vacation!

As soon as I jot down some thoughts into this blog, I will finish cleaning the house upstairs. I'll have to get to my books in the basement another day. I have a meeting with some Mormons (which I'll explain in a minute), and then I have an executive board meeting at 7:00. Busy, busy, busy...

Some Mormons came by the other day and asked if they could come back later. They'll be here at 3:00, and I can't wait. I fluster all of them, but they're persistent little buggers. I ask questions that they can't answer, and my purpose is to make them think about their own religion.

I'm never, ever rude to them; in fact, they too are my brothers if they believe in Jesus Christ.

I'm perfectly content with what I believe: Jesus, the son of God, came to earth for the sole (or "soul") purpose of saving us for all eternity. He died for your sins and mine, but he rose again to reign as the King of kings! As long as I accept his gift of salvation, I'm good to go! I don't need "another" testament, especially if it doesn't change the fact that I'm already saved.

Wouldn't it be cool if I could get these Mormons to come to my church instead, even for a visit? I'm going to ask them if anyone has been healed lately at their services. Why not be direct? We had a guy healed instantly from lower back pain, I've been healed from migraines, a man was delivered from drugs and alcohol, a woman was healed of breast cancer (after prayer, the doctors couldn't even find the lump anymore!), a man's pancreatic cancer is non-existent now, and the list goes on and on! God is so wonderful!

Lord, if I'm supposed to witness to these guys and testify to your goodness, mercy, love, and healing touch, then please give me the words to use! I don't want to belittle their beliefs, and I certainly don't want to misrepresent You. Lord, help me to love these men and, hopefully, bring them to the truth about You! You are alive and STILL working miracles! Thank you so much for that, Lord! In Jesus' name, amen!

I stole this from Joyce, but she won't mind! :o)

I read her blog often, and she recently wrote five very interesting answers to the following questions. She was "tagged," but I'm just playing for the fun of it. :o)

Here are the questions:

1. What were you doing 10 years ago? I was actually in my third year of teaching and beginning to develop my "teacher personality." I was still a newbie, though. At the time, there weren't many jobs in our area for high school English teachers, but I only subbed for a month before I was blessed with a job. (My friend, Melanie, had to wait ten years for a teaching position to become available.)

2. What five things were on your to-do list today?
1) Take a project to Kurt's house. [done]
2) Prepare music with the worship team. [done...at least with those who attended service today]
3) Have a short meeting with Pastor and Moderator. [not done...ran out of time before service started]
4) Clean the house some more. [not done...took a nap instead]
5) Visit another church for an evening service. [done, and God moved in a powerful way!!!]

3. What are some snacks that you enjoy? celery with peanut butter (YUM!), apples with peanut butter (DOUBLE YUM!), 94% fat-free popcorn, potato chips (but I rarely buy them), bananas, popsicles

4. Where have you lived?
1) Flint, Michigan is my birthplace, but we were pretty poor and lived in an all-black neighborhood. I actually remember playing with rodents with a shoe box. My mother would kill me if she knew I shared that!
2) We moved to Warren, Ohio when I was six years old. This is when I saw white people up close for the first time at school. It was pretty amazing for me; I just kept wanting to touch their skin (and they wanted to touch my hair). The things we remember...
3) Ypsilanti, Michigan is the home of the first college I attended: Eastern Michigan University. I was accepted into the Pre-Med program, but I've always wanted to teach. As a child, I used to come home and play "school" after school! My Mom bought me a big 'ol chalkboard, and my teachers would give me their excess copies of handouts instead of throwing them away. [Back then we didn't recycle as often as we do now.] Can you be more nerdy than that?
4) After I married my ex-husband, we moved a total of 11 times in 14 years. Yes, my son is only 15 now. That's what happens when the man of the house is a crack addict. In the midst of chaos, I managed to get my credit together to buy this house (3 bedroom ranch, basement with spare bedroom and office, cute yard with fenced in area for dog to do "business", single garage, decent neighborhood where I'm no longer afraid to let my kids go outside and play).

5. What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
1) Tithe and give a big, fat offering to my church.
2) Buy a new, bigger home to finish raising my boys.
3) Give to several programs for my homeless and hungry brothers and sisters (adults and children).
4) Set up grants for single parents...I have a heart especially for single Moms because I know what it's like to struggle and have to say, "No, boys, I'm sorry. I can't afford that today," even if what they want is a cheap pair of tennis shoes because the ones they're wearing have holes. I would steer them toward education so that they could learn a trade or earn a degree. They still have pride, for goodness' sake, and it would feel wonderful to see them start to make it on their own. A gift from me would help temporarily, but a job with a reliable income would boost self-esteems and empower them.
5) Get with godly friends and figure out how to create jobs in my area. Wouldn't it be neat to hook up with business-minded folks who could show me how to multiply what I've already got to help even more single Moms (or Dads), families, churches, starving populations, etc?

Even though I'd be rich, my kids would STILL be expected to go to college. I want them educated and living in their own homes, taking care of their own families. I would obviously be giving them huge chunks of money, but I would never take away their manhood. I'm sure they'd still want to show that they can protect and love a family eventually (but not any time soon!!!).

God at work

I visited another church this evening, and I was humbled by the way God works.

It was exciting to see God use me and others to bring some hope and healing to those who needed it.

God is calling me to do some stuff at my own church as well. I must walk by faith, though, since God knows I am not trained for two of the calls on my life. That makes me nervous! But I've decided to give them a try anyway, even though there are actually several reasons why I'm uncomfortable.

I suppose there's no use in whining about it, eh? God's gonna do what God's gonna do.

Onward...

*** y a w n ***

Oh my, am I tired.

When I was younger, I could stay up all night and not blink an eye.

Now I'm blinking two. ;o)

My friend said I should go to bed when we got off the phone at around 1:00 a.m. or so, but I, the stubborn gal that I am, chose to stay up until I completed a project at 3:00.

Now I will force myself not to yawn cuz he simply cannot be right about everything we ever talk about. (He usually is anyway, but don't tell him I admitted that!)

This morning, BEFORE church even starts, I am supposed to:
1. take the completed project over to my friend's (Kurt's) house.
2. have a mini-meeting with the Pastor and Moderator.
3. practice with the worship team who failed to show up for rehearsal. (Yes, once again, I was the only one, and it's getting annoying, especially cuz gas is $3,000 a gallon...and I live 15 minutes away from church.)

I have a feeling that the worship service is going to be exceptional today. :o)

I woke up smiling!

What a nice way to start the day!

I'm still bursting with joy from last night. (Thank you, Lord!)

Today I will finish cleaning my house, make a batch of chocolate chip/oatmeal cookies that I've been promising the boys (since I gave most of the last batch away), finish the bulletin for Sunday, run a worship team rehearsal at church, and then spend 5:00-11:00 at the amphitheater downtown with my boys to watch an Aerosmith tribute band.

This time, though, I will be covered in insect repellent since we will be on a river bank. I'm still itching from mosquito bites from last weekend!

As a middle school student, I loved nothing more than to go to the bookstore and search for the perfect novel. I can never have too many books! Unfortunately, though, they are all over my basement and bedroom (which is part of my cleaning project today), and I'm trying to get everything organized from when life was hectic for me last month. To be honest, I think I'll need tomorrow and Monday to completely get things back in order.

Among the clutter, I found a book called Boundaries in Dating. I purchased it a year or two ago, but I had forgotten all about it. My mentality was a bit different then; I wasn't actually interested in dating yet since I was still in the process of getting divorced. By 3:14 a.m., I could barely keep my eyes open, so I only read half of it. Perhaps I'll finish it tomorrow afternoon.

Well, God, I am so full of appreciation for the many blessings I've seen over the last week! God, how can I ever thank you enough? I was worrying like crazy over some stuff, but now I realize that you were in control all along. Thank you for removing depression and loneliness! I enjoy your company, and I hope you stay with me all day. In Jesus' name, amen.

quick answer to prayer

There were only a few folks who showed up for a worship service tonight, but we enjoyed praising God anyway! Wow...what a wonderful evening.

Afterwards my friend, Kurt, and I wanted to fellowship with some folks who are getting married in August. I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time! To those of you who don't know, I can't hold back tears when I find something funny. I must have cried at least three separate times this evening! ;o)

Tonight was incredibly enjoyable, and I'm still smiling!

This is exactly what I've been longing to do for quite some time.

Thank you, Lord, for letting me experience some wonderful new friends! I've known Kurt for years, and I truly appreciate getting to know this engaged couple better. They are so sweet, and I am thrilled that they seemed to enjoy my company too.

Father, I feel so blessed right now. All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you!

Hi, folks!

\Well, I've been a Myspace user for quite some time, but I'm just not comfortable there anymore. I certainly don't want my students to be my "friends," yet I have a need/desire to share my thoughts in a blog.

My friend's Mom has a blog here, and it's beautiful! I decided to try my hand at this, especially if I can make some grown-up friends!

My title alludes to my 5'4" frame, and I am also working on not being quite so spunky. I will relax as time goes on, I'm sure...

My son is a whiz on the computer; I, on the other hand, am not. That said, he will be helping his Mama make this sight pretty.

Most of my posts will end in prayer. I need a lot of it! If you have any prayer requests, feel free to share them with me.

Well, Lord, thank you for a beautiful day! Thank you for allowing my Mom to spend some time with us this week. Father, I pray that you bless every single person who reads this blog, and I pray that you help me to be a blessing here and in my everyday life. In Jesus' name, amen.