** update on my life **

Wow...I haven't checked in for some time, eh?

Here's a little synopsis of life at Michelle's house:

1.) Work from 7:00-3:00 (which will change to 5:00 in January).

2.) Visit mom (who has had a second stroke since October)...do her laundry...bring it back to rehab center...try to make her laugh...go home and sleep...repeat process.

That's pretty much it.

Last night we had a concert at my church. I was tired and wasn't in the mood for really loud Christian hard rock, so I left and went to visit mom since I hadn't had a chance to do that after work.

When I got to the rehab center, mom was having a really hard time controlling her body. Man, it's hard to see her lose control, yet they're still sending her home on Tuesday. She can't even go to the bathroom by herself! She can't brush her teeth, get dressed, or do anything alone, so I'm worried about her.

My friend has been noticing that I'm running ragged and mentioned that I probably need to create some boundaries to avoid having a break down, so I told my mother that I would help her as much as I could but not at the expense of my own family. I'm trying not to feel guilty as I think about how impossible it would be to work my full-time teaching job in addition to two part-time jobs, keep my own home clean, cook, and give my boys the attention they deserve while committing to 4 hours of nursing my mother back to health.

That's not possible.

I'm really tired every single night that I go to bed, and I haven't even worked out in the last few days because it would have meant getting five hours instead of six hours of sleep.

Something's gotta give...

Don't worry; I don't expect solutions. I just needed to write through my thoughts and, hopefully, come up with some ways to keep my sanity while still trying to fulfill my obligations as her daughter. I'll let you know what I decide to do...