trying to be optimistic

I just finished watching Pride and Prejudice.

Thank you, God, that women no longer need to rely on men to have a decent life.

Thank you, Lord, that I have a fulfilling, challenging, and thrilling career rather than merely a job.

Thank you, Father, for helping me care for my children in addition to providing a few "extras" once in a while.

As I watched the film, I contemplated all of the above. Of course, facing my "single" status was inevitable during this movie, but the final scene struck me as particularly touching: Mr. and Mrs. Darcy begin celebrating their wedding night by holding hands and talking outside on the patio.

Wow...I would love to experience that someday.

Surprisingly, though, I find myself grateful for being alone. At the moment, I am totally in control of my finances, can come and go as I please, and make summer plans (teaching summer school and attending grad school) without consulting anyone else.

Perhaps I am growing accustomed to being a "Ms."... It really isn't so bad.

Someone told me recently that he thinks I need to pray about the relationships I have with others (both men and women).

No kiddin'.

He thinks I pull away (and I do), but I also love deeply. Perhaps I go overboard with trying to actively show my love for people. If I see a need, then I do something about it, especially for a loved one.

I've had someone recently mention tasks that I used to do to help him at work, but that tone is entirely different from, "Hey, I miss you." But maybe he doesn't miss me; maybe he just misses the work I did. I appreciate the truth, and I'm glad we spoke.

To borrow some words a friend wrote about me, I wish God would give me someone who "knew what makes me tick, what ticks me off, and how to calm me down." [Thanks, Bob!] :o) I wish I could bounce ideas and frustrations off of a sweetheart, but for now, this blog will do. I can't hurt or offend a blog, so it's harmless to vent here. I'm not typing anything that shames or embarrasses me, especially since anybody and her momma can read this. Getting my thoughts collected, organized, and stored here on a somewhat regular basis soothes me.

God knows what's best for me, and I'll just have to remember that. I think I'll just "be still" and "know that He is God."

Lord, your will be done. Amen.