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Thursday, July 31, 2008

another long day...

I just got home, and it's already 9:14 p.m.!

God's idea and my idea of "vacation" seem to be totally different. I have been working harder than ever lately!

I ministered to someone for a little over two hours this evening, and that was after a pretty full day already. I am not used to doing this much ministry stuff in a single week, but I like it!!!!

I am wiped out, though. Maybe I'll get used to it, but right now it seems that ministry totally drains my energy. Do you ever feel that way?

What have you been up to lately? I have been reading like a crazy woman, and I've also been getting some pretty exciting things done at church too. I'm so glad that everything seems to be falling nicely into place!

Lord, thank you for your generous and forgiving heart! I look forward to seeing just how you use me even more with the women's ministry. I love you, as always. In Jesus' name, amen.


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

l-o-n-g day....

Man, it's been a long day. Maybe it just seemed long because I don't feel well. But I was fine when I was walking with my friend, Janet, from 6:15-7:00 a.m.

I tried to rest on the couch in the library at church. I did ministry stuff the rest of the day, though.

Let's see...I had at least seven people throughout the day hint that I should go to the doctor.

I don't wanna.

I'm pro'ly going to wait a few more days and see what happens. If I'm still feeling crappy, I promise to go to the doctor on Monday or whenever I can get an appointment, ok???? :o)

I listen to an on-line smooth jazz station when I'm working on church stuff, but I think I'll switch to 95.5 the Fish instead. That's one of my favorite Christian stations. I don't pay attention to the songs half the time, and Pastor said, "Hey! Whoa! That's probably not good to listen to at church!" Ummm....I hadn't even noticed, but "Music of the Night" from Phantom of the Opera was playing!

Duh.

Anyway, I ran Bible study tonight with the craziest hair ever! Why? Well, I went to the park to walk for an hour, but half of it was under water from the rain we had this afternoon. One time around the mall is one mile, so I walked two miles. I ran into a friend who hadn't seen me in a while, and she kept playing with my hair. I kept wanting to scream, "STOP! You're going to make me have an afro-puff!!!!!"

But she was so depressed, and I decided that I'd suffer the consequences if playing in my hair makes her happy.

So Super-Afro-Puff-Girl taught about the BIble tonight! :o) And we managed to have some wonderful prayer time, too.

The most intense part of the evening happened after the Bible study when I had to do some one-on-one ministry. One gal has so much going on...it was quite humbling, really. My problems seemed so silly compared to what this woman faces on a daily basis.

I'm exhausted. I will write more later. Peace to you, and "Goodnight!"

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A little prayer request

I need a favor.

I want you to pray for me, please. I've been praying for myself, but I wouldn't mind a little help. I'm having a "female" problem, and I'd rather pray a bit more before I make a doctor bill.

Please pray, ok? Thanks so much.

HAPPY NEWS: I had an incredibly productive day today. I started my day with some praise and worship on the Baby Grand at church. Then I made some files and did some much-needed organizing. After that, I spent some prayer time with Pastor, made quite a few phone calls for The Trustees and the Executive Board, went to a TOPS meeting, and then prayed with a few ladies. I was so touched at their eagerness to pray, share stories and encourage one another this evening! The love we have for one another is such a joy to watch in action.

As I said, I'm not feeling well. I'm going to go pray some more and then turn in for the evening. May you have sweet dreams and a beautiful day tomorrow!!!!

Praise God! My water heater's fine!

My friends, Tim and Janet, came over last night, and they are so incredible! Tim found the leak, and it was a hose that drains the condensation from my central air unit. He said it's cheap to fix and even offered to pay for the parts and volunteer the labor too! To top that wonderful blessing, Janet went through my entire house with me to pray and anoint each room.

Yay!!!!!!

Tonight after TOPS, it's Janet's turn: we're going to pray for her family at HER house. :o)

God, thank you for friends who openly care for me! I feel so loved. In turn, I'd like to be a friend to Perthenia. She's feeling isolated and alone, Lord, so please help me to maintain my schedule this fall so that I can visit her at least once a week. If it's your will, Lord, please nudge her kids to visit a little more often too. In Jesus' name, amen.





Monday, July 28, 2008

God is cool!

Yep, it was a good day!

The morning was rough; I had to get the "Mommy" voice with two folks who are almost old enough to be my parents, and that was just odd.

The rest of the day, though, was magnificent! I got so much done as far as organization of paperwork at church, thanks to my Pastor's help.

Tonight my friends are coming over to check out my water heater. After that, I'm going to my sister's house because my nephew is here from Florida. We are much more like brother and sister, though, sibling rivalry included.

God, I have asked that you speak to me with a clear voice, and you have answered that prayer! Thank you so much for allowing me to be at church at the right time this morning. If you hadn't asked me to do something specific, I wouldn't have been there to see what you wanted me to see.

Thank you for watching over us! Thank you for the amazing signs of growth! Thank you for allowing me to enjoy such peace, even though there are still some strenuous situations in my life. I'm not even going to worry about them. You, my God, are bigger than any problem I will ever face!

Lord, I trust you with my finances as well as the church's finances. I pray that you continue to bless your people with what we need for today. Thank you for laughter! Thank you for silliness! And thank you for friends and family who love me. Jesus, we are going to anoint my house and Janet's house this evening. Please bless this oil and be with us as we pray for one another this evening. Cleanse every room in both homes, Lord! We ask that you seal every door that the enemy thinks is open to him! Remove every influence that pulls us farther from you. Please make your home with us, Lord! In Jesus' name, amen.

Have you blessed your pastor lately?

I am the music director at my church, and the service started a bit awkwardly as I accidentally slammed my right pinky and ring fingers against the upper register of my keyboard.

And the speakers for the keyboard were ON.

And his parents had just walked in for worship.

Duh.

Ummm....judging from the smirk on his face, I wouldn't say that I necessarily "blessed" him, but I did manage to wake everybody up! :o)

Then I went to another church to say goodbye to a friend, Pastor Jim Goodrich. He and his family are moving so that he can pastor a church in a different state. As we fellowshipped after a short service, he came up and was obviously pretty emotional. He said that he had no idea how hard it would be to leave. Then he gave me a hug and said, "You know, I still have a letter you wrote me last summer at camp. You blessed me with your words, and I just happened to read it again this week. Thank you."

Wow.

He still has it!

Hey folks, let's challenge ourselves to see how much we can encourage, love, and pray for our pastors. Let's offer to do things for them. What's your talent? Do you have some time on your hands? Why not ask him (or her) what could be done to help?

Years ago I was engaged to a pastor's son, so I saw first-hand how quickly life can get crazy. This is what I would recommend:

1. Offer to take the kids to play with your own, perhaps a couple of hours or maybe even for a sleepover party. He is probably stressed at times, no matter how wonderful you think your congregation is. Let him have some time alone with his wife; she can minister to him better than anyone else.

2. Even if your pastor happens to be an expert at landscaping (or painting, or fixing cars, etc.), he could still use some help! The more time you give a helping hand, the more time he has with his family. [see suggestion #1]

3. Do whatever you can to ease the burden of being a pastor. That includes calling him at the church office, not at home, as much as possible. Pastor "J," who was almost my father-in-law, used to get phone calls at night over trivial things that could have waited until the following day. Remember: Your pastor has a life OUTSIDE of the church. If he's a new pastor and doesn't yet, then give him time to build a life apart from trying to fix everyone's problems.

4. Write a little note or card of appreciation every now and then. I happen to love cards! But if you'd rather tell him how well he's doing, then say so right after a sermon as you shake his hand to leave. Better yet, mention something to show that you really paid attention during church. Keep it short and sweet so that he can go eat in a timely manner. Ministering to you is hard work!

5. Pray and ask God for direction on what to do to be a blessing to your pastor.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Reading and baking

That's what I did today: read the Bible and make oatmeal cookies.

I couldn't put down the Bible last night; I read until after 2:00 a.m.!

I read some more today too. I am soooooooo glad we're not under the old law anymore.

My driveway was full of teenage boys, so I made them oatmeal cookies. Those young men inhaled them! Wow...

Thanks, Lord, for speaking to me today through your word. I also enjoyed watching so many young men enjoying themselves (and behaving!) for hours in my yard. I'm looking forward to worshiping you tomorrow with my church family. I love you, Lord. Amen.

My warped sense of humor...

God knows how women think, you know?

I cracked up last night as I read Deuteronomy 25:11-12.

Can you believe that this is actually in the Bible? I've read it a few times before, but last night this passage struck me as incredibly funny!!!

Read it. It addresses something I might do in a dangerous situation, but I wouldn't be able to play the piano at church anymore. ;o)

Wow. The punishment is a bit harsh in my opinion...but who am I? Certainly not God!

How do you NOT think about "parts" when you read these verses?

Just so you know, I switched to Acts; tongues of fire seemed like a much safer, wholesome topic.

Lord, I promise not to touch anybody except my future husband, if you give me one, and even then it will certainly not be in anger. In fact, I will only touch him the way he wants me to. Amen.


Friday, July 25, 2008

Mmmmmmmm!!!!!

I fried fish tonight for supper, and it was yummy. :o)

My boys inhaled their supper; I bet it's easily been a year since I've fried anything because it's so fattening. I usually bake meat or use the crock pot.

I've decided to volunteer at church for the rest of the summer, partly out of the goodness of my heart...mostly because God told me to. I didn't want to be there that much because someone (NOT the pastor) gets on my last nerve. 99% of the people on this planet can interrupt me while I'm working without unnerving me in the least, but this particular individual just grates my nerves and makes me want to scream.

Can I use the word "dork" and still be relatively holy? Pro'ly not, huh? But this man is so rude and ignorant, although I believe he does have a decent heart (just poor home training). Today he asked me, "So, how are you doin' today, Michelle?" When I replied, "good," he said, "What good are you?"

What the heck?!?!?!?! I had a million comebacks, but all I said was, "Excuse me?" and then refused to laugh at his "joke."

Yep, he's a dork.

Now God wants me to volunteer several hours in the same building with him every week for the rest of my vacation?

Ick.

Today was my first day, and it was mostly productive. (Alas, he DID interrupt me several times, but I didn't beat him down. But I wanted to. Does that count?)

There is a positive side to this: My lesson plans for the first ten weeks of school are done. Yay for me!

Since I'll mostly be answering the phones and doing whatever Pastor asks me to do, I'll have plenty of time to work ahead on my lesson plans. My goal for the next week is to finish my lesson plans for the entire year. In August, I'll be able to update my website to include lesson plans so that kids who are sick or going on vacation can access them from home. Since I'm working so far ahead, I can even make some study guides.

Thanks, Lord, for letting me get so far ahead on my work for the fall! I really want to be productive this year, even if I get busy with part-time jobs. Pastor has been encouraging me lately to include you in every decision I make, so I'm asking that you give me clear guidance on what I'm supposed to do, spiritually and financially. And please help me raise me boys with discipline and love.

God, I don't want to clobber anybody, so I'm asking that you help me to be kind and friendly, even to the guy I mentioned earlier. But is it selfish to ask you to keep him away from me? Please give him a better work ethic. He's getting paid, so I am pleading with you to please make him stay out of the office and get busy doing what he's supposed to do. If not, then I pray that you make me shut up when I want to go off on him.

Lord, I pray for my church, each family represented, the finances, and the Bible studies that are currently meeting. I pray for an amazing outpouring of your Spirit Sunday, and I also pray that you will let Pastor have an enjoyable, memorable time with his family as they visit him from Illinois. Thanks for letting them get here safely, and please protect them when they leave next week. In Jesus' name, amen.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Ready for Round 2!

The women's group Bible study went very well last night. There were lots of smiles, hugs, and encouraging words.

What a relaxing evening!

The second group meets this evening, and I can't wait!

God, thank you for helping us to minister to one another! Yes, I'm leading it, but these women are definitely ministering to me as well. Please bless them, Lord, as they read their Bibles on their own. Don't let them get frustrated just because they don't know their way around yet. Help them to open those Bibles on a regular basis until it's easy to find every scripture as we study together.

Build their confidence, Jesus! And thank you so much for letting them enjoy themselves as we build friendships and enjoy growing together. In Jesus' name, amen! :o)


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What to do?

Sometimes I don't think I'm cut out for this thing we call "ministry," even though it's something I've long desired to explore.

I'm emotionally drained at the moment, but happy overall. I suppose I really don't have anything to complain about right now.

I had a basically good day. At one point, though, God was dealing with me on a totally uncomfortable level. Normally, I don't mind being dealt with by God, but this occurred in someone else's presence.

I hate it when that happens.

Tears were streaming uncontrollably down my face, snot was flyin'...I was a mess.

I had to get a grip pretty quickly, though.

My friend, Melanie, invited me and the boys to go to the movies with her (and her son and friends), so I went to the bathroom and washed my face. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and I couldn't breathe through my nose...

Ugh.

But I pulled myself together before I picked up my boys.

I'm better now.

We saw The Dark Knight, which I highly recommend! Melanie is a hoot and had me laughing in no time!

I'm tired, so I better pray before I get too sleepy:

Lord, sometimes I wonder why you picked me to do some stuff at church. I'm totally unprepared and downright incompetent in some ways, yet you have obviously asked me to work with the women and trustee board. I'm not even going to whine and ask "why" anymore. I'm just a bit stunned that you have me "leading" women when I obviously need so much help myself.

God, I don't try to disobey you. In fact, sometimes I'm so flustered and have no idea what to do next. Do you want me to take a job playing the piano for a local playhouse? Do you want me to wait? Should I accept the part-time tutoring and drama club jobs that I had last year?

Father, I need to hear you on this one. I don't want to do anything out of your will, and I also don't want to make decisions based on fear (about bills or lack of child support). So I'm going to trust You completely.

I wouldn't mind a little clue, though, to let me know what Your will is for my life. Am I even on the right track? Am I close? Thanks for listening, Lord. In Jesus' name, amen.


Monday, July 21, 2008

new car and stuff

God has been blessing the Stoutamire house! :o)

Today I turned in my lease for a new one: a midnight blue 2008 Pontiac G6. I almost bought my old car (a 2006 Pontiac G6), but then I thought it might be better to keep getting a new car every few years. Since I'm not very mechanical, it's probably not very wise to keep an older car that I don't know how to fix. I also don't have a husband to call if I get in a jam.

I canceled an appointment with some folks who were going to check my water heater because my Mom would have been at my house while I did some running around that needed to be done. She had other plans, though, but she was willing to break them for me. I felt guilty and decided to change my appointment instead of messing up her day.

To make a long story short, the water heater will be replaced in a couple of weeks, unless the leak gets really bad (and it needs to be replaced sooner). Sometimes the basement floor is completely dry, but it's not at the moment. :o(

But my fridge and both freezers are full, and my boys and I are healthy. My dog had his toenails clipped today, and that's a major accomplishment. (He's such a wimp!)

We had prayer at church tonight, and it was pretty good too! I've been awake since 5:00 a.m., though, so I was ready to leave before everybody else.

I'm pretty exhausted at the moment.

Let's pray real quick:

Lord, thank you for a full, wonderful day! Thank you for allowing us to lift up one another in prayer this evening! Thank you for friends and loved ones! Thank you for being my Lord and Savior!

Jesus, you are so wonderful! Please keep protecting my kids and everyone at church (including me) as we walk in your will this week. Help us to pray, Lord! Remind us that we're not perfect, but I also ask that you help us to feel freedom from self-inflicted pressure. I pray that we all stay humble and empathetic as we minister to your people. In Jesus' name, amen.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

How does God see you?

A friend recently brought to my attention that he thinks I should pray about my self-esteem a bit so that my view of myself lines up with the way God sees me as well as the way others see me.

He's right (as usual).

I have not seen myself as a "leader." In fact, in the last year or so, "pitbull watchdog" has been a more fitting description of me. I hate bullies, and I am quick to take them on...even if it appears I'm outnumbered. I suppose you might look at that two ways: either I'm strong-willed and incredibly brave or, as might just be the case, I don't quite have all of my marbles. ;o)

In any case, God has been doing some healing this evening, and I praise him for that!

I think God is trying to force me to be more compassionate and understanding. There are a couple of people who have been getting on my nerves (in addition to my lovely son); one individual in particular has no qualms about intruding on a personal conversation, and that grates my nerves to no end.

My mom is getting older, and it's starting to make me a bit nervous. I picked her up to run an errand today, and it was hard to see her moving so slowly and walking with a cane. She will be 75 years old next month; perhaps I should not panic just yet though.

Happy thought: I walked two miles at the mall today, and I caught my reflection in one of the mirrors. I stopped for a second and paused to take a closer look. For the first time in a while, I liked what I saw, extra pounds and all. (Praise God!)

I have been feeling grateful rather than anxious lately, and I praise God for that too! I pray that God blesses you and me with all that we need for today. When I was blessed with an abundance of money and time, I didn't even attend church or read my Bible. Perhaps it's best that I struggle for a bit more...


Friday, July 18, 2008

TV

We haven't had cable in two years.

Budgets are quite familiar to me since I'm a single Mommy, and the boys wanted cell phones. Actually, that sounded pretty good to me so that I could keep in touch when they were out and about on bikes or with friends.

I offered to get rid of our land line house phone as well as the cable, since those two prices added up to the new cell phone plan. They heartily agreed, and we haven't looked back...until Wednesday morning.

I was looking at an ad which promised the same cable channels we used to have for a lower price of $30 each month.

I thought about that. Last month, I spent $25 renting movies on the weekend. With cable, I could enjoy the weather channel and cry through a Lifetime for Women love story.

Hmmmm....why not?

And the installation is free! This company must be getting some pretty ferocious competition from satellite companies; I distinctly remember having to pay $45 the last time they were at my house. I couldn't believe it when they said there'd be no charge.

Nice.

I'm also looking forward to organizing some ministry stuff for the women at my church. God has already been dealing with me about some topics to discuss along with scriptures next week. It's good stuff!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

My First Bible Study

Wow! I just finished eating supper and washing dishes; I didn't want to eat until after the Bible study.

We had 15 people (including myself)! Let me say it again: Wow!

I got some really good feedback this evening. I think the ladies enjoyed themselves too.

I know I did!

I made them sugar cookies, decaf coffee, and iced tea.

I need to thank my pastor for his advice too. His suggestions were definitely helpful! He's had many years of experience leading a small group Bible study, and I'm grateful that he talked to me about this yesterday. :o)

Thank you, Lord, for a wonderful evening! I had so much fun! Please be with all of these wonderful women all week long and bless them. Thank you for giving me so much peace! I was shocked at the natural timing of the scripture reading and discussion; we ended exactly one hour after we began, and that's when we started to pray. No one seemed to mind sticking around for 15 minutes, and a few of them stayed even longer just to chat.

Father, I pray that everyone else feels as blessed as I do. I enjoyed the fellowship and prayer time immensely. Help us to continue our walk together in peace and love. In Jesus' name, amen.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How can you NOT worship God?

As I drove my son to summer school this morning, the sun was shining so brightly that I could barely see the red lights! Although the sun itself is incredibly hot, we only get just enough to warm us and help our plants grow. We don't incinerate if we step outside in it, and the soothing light calms our souls.

Isn't that balance amazing?

I was also struck by the brilliant hues of green in the trees and bushes. There are so many shades to enjoy!

By contrast, the sky was a lovely shade of blue, my favorite color! As I looked up into the heavens, the branches and leaves of those beautiful trees swayed like a toddler moving to music for the first time.

Beautiful.

While I observed all of the evidence around me that there is a God, my CD was playing, "How Great Is Our God." That's quite fitting, don't you think? :o)

God, You are so creative! I'm glad you like lots of colors! I enjoyed your breathtaking scenery this morning, Lord, and I pray that I never take you or your world for granted. Thank you for everything. Amen!

Monday, July 14, 2008

busy, busy, busy

What a crazy day! I've been going non-stop since 7:10 when I left the house to take Shaq to summer school.

Wow.

I thought I'd be able to squeeze in a nap. Oh well.

But I worshiped to a CD that someone made for me. She knows I like contemporary Christian music, so she picked some of the most upbeat stuff I've ever heard.

Worship is fun, isn't it?

My back hurts from the stuff I've been doing lately, but I'll live. I wish one of my kids were up, but it's completely silent upstairs. They're tired too because they've been helping me. My little one also does football, and the big one has been skateboarding a lot lately too.

I'm tired, but I want to pray real quick:

Lord, thank you for being with me all day! Thank you for sending me people who encourage me continuously, and I loved be on the giving end of that this afternoon! Lord, I pray for J., a beautiful lady who hides her pain well. I had no idea she was hurting so badly, but You did, didn't You? Thanks for letting me hug her several times today.

Father, I have such a long way to go before I "arrive," whatever that means. I still feel inadequate when it comes to leading this women's group, but I also know that I won't see perfection as long as I'm alive and breathing. Help me to be a blessing, Lord! In Jesus' name, amen.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

"Do as I say, not as I do!" [Why? Cuz I said so!]

That was directed at my kids, not you. :o)

I had told (err..."asked") them to help me clean the yard since I'm going to have several women from the church over on Wednesday.

Yet my room was a mess!

One corner received everything that had been removed from the kitchen table the last few times we cleaned the kitchen. There were old bills (I had already paid), Christmas cards I had never opened, and a paycheck! (Yep, I get an extra $111 tomorrow when I cash that baby!)

How does one so strapped for money FORGET to cash a paycheck?

Duh.

I was proctoring an ACT test one Saturday two months ago.

Good news: My room is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L now!!! Yay for me! I only have one section to finish in the morning, but that shouldn't take more than an hour. There's not much left to straighten up, but there are a ton of papers I need to go through. Hopefully, most of it will be trash instead of stuff that needs to be filed.

My ex-husband is coming over tomorrow to clean the gutters for me while I trim the rest of the bushes that I didn't get to on Saturday. Then all I have to do is weed the side of the house, and I'm done!

I'm planning on making sugar cookies, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and fat-free/sugar-free jello on Wednesday. I'm also going to serve coffee, hot tea, iced tea, and milk.

I might be going out of town on Friday. My buddy, Kathy P., offered to give me a ticket for the Women of Faith Conference at Gund Arena in Cleveland. Those suckers cost $150 a pop, so I will definitely be blessing her with some money this weekend. The only problem is I have to find a hotel at the last minute. If I'm supposed to go, then it will work out, right?

God has been giving me so much joy, and I'm not taking one second of it for granted. (THANK YOU, God! You rock!)


Saturday, July 12, 2008

Obedience

After last night, I find it humorous that I'm going to write about obedience today. :o)

Anyway, my boys are grumpy because I've recruited them to help me get the yard cleaned up. We're going to start in 20 minutes, and I'm not sure why they're complaining. I promised to give each of them $50 when I get my summer school paycheck on Friday. My parents would have told me to do it...period...end of story.

Last night, though, I was having a conversation about the real me, the part of me that has been hurting for quite a while. This particular friend gives me absolutely no wiggle-room. In fact, last night he was pushing every button that happened to present itself, but I'm glad he did. I had decided to quit my fast (eating only one meal per day) 7 days early because I didn't like what God was telling me. The Lord kept asking me to do stuff that I didn't want to do. My logic went something like this:

Since God already spoke to me about several issues, including stuff I don't want to implement or start, why not quit the fast?
1. It was my idea anyway.
2. It's voluntary.
3. If I continue the fast, then God will most likely ask me to do something else that I will find uncomfortable.
4. Yes, I'll quit fasting so I can't hear His voice so loud and clear!

Ummm...now that I read that, it sounds kinda dumb, doesn't it? Oh boy...

My friend called me on it, even to the point of calling me disobedient! (Man, I'm glad my kids didn't hear that! They would have had great fun with that one!) But what could I say? He was right.

Through prayer with him and allowing God to speak to certain parts of me that I had previously considered "off-limits," even to God Himself (and especially to friends and family), I was able to wake up this morning refreshed and excited about my life. I know that God is calling me to do this women's ministry, and, if the truth be told, I've known this for several months. I've begun to feel some wonderful peace by moving in obedience: asking Pastor if I can make an announcement about the women's ministry, putting directions to my home in the bulletin, and purchasing blank cards to write a personal invitation to each woman in the church.

Thank you, Jesus!

I will spend a few hours this evening writing out the cards. My plan was to make an announcement during church and then mail the reminders today (so that they'd get them before Wednesday). Instead, to be more personal, I think I'll just hand them out to the women before church starts. The only problem with that, though, is that there are so many people who come late...I have to be ready to play by 10:45.

I suppose I could call all of these women, but I'm not a phone person.

I'm not quick to call anybody...even my Mom. (I know...that's awful...but I see her often.) There's only one person that I've regularly spoken to on the phone regularly for any substantial length of time, and that's mostly because we're often praying together for everybody and everything.

I will definitely let you know how everything goes.


Thursday, July 10, 2008

FREE HUGS!!!!

Have you seen the video on Godtube with a guy and a big 'ol poster with "FREE HUGS" printed on it? He doesn't ask for money or for favors; he simply hugs you.

Have you noticed that, at times, people don't always respond when you speak to them? Don't you think we, as a society, are starting to get a bit desensitized and callous? We're not used to strangers in our personal space, and it was interesting to watch the expressions and smiles bloom as we invited people to simply hug us.

Kurt and I did that for three hours tonight at the Trumbull County Fair, and it was one of the most amazing things I have ever done. Initially, I was a bit apprehensive; in fact, I didn't really want to do it in the first place, but he was so excited.

Then he got discouraged because this was supposed to be a "youth" activity.

Did I mention that Kurt and I were the only ones who showed up?

I bet we hugged at least 100 people a piece! Some teens we'd never met before got so excited that they begged to hold one of our extra signs! It was wonderful! They must have helped us hug folks for at least two hours!

I was able to pray with a woman who recently lost her father (on Mother's Day) and is having trouble taking care of her brother. I met a police officer who also runs a kettle-corn stand by night...he also suffers from diverticulosis (I have no idea how to spell that). I had several small children run into my arms and give me love (and receive it in return). I was able to hug some teens who were hurting; some hugged me on a dare, yet they lingered quite a bit longer than needed. I was surprised how many of my ex-students ran to get a hug from me! :o)

We are human, and we need to be touched.

What a cool spin on ministry!

I dare say that some young people found out that it's ok to touch without any sexual strings attached. Hopefully, a simple "hug" won't be so taboo anymore...at least for a few folks who may have changed their minds about that tonight.

Father, help us to love one another. Help us to be able to discern when our brothers and sisters are hurting and need to be hugged and prayed for! Give us boldness to do that, perhaps not with perfect strangers as we did tonight, but at least with our friends and family.

Jesus, please bless everybody Kurt and I met this evening! I pray that something we said or did will lead them straight into Your arms for the ultimate hug of all. In Jesus' name, amen.


Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Day One: so far, so good

Anyone who has experienced an eating disorder (i.e., emotional eating, bulemia, anorexia, etc.) can appreciate that I did very well by sticking to my daily intake of 1670 calories today. Actually, I didn't quite eat all of those calories because I was full.

Today is also the first day I've eaten 3 balanced meals and a snack. Until this morning, I had been fasting (eating one meal per day) and praying about a couple of issues in my life. Thankfully, God answered all of those prayers. :o)

I was tempted with donuts this morning (but Annette didn't know I had been fasting or that I was trying to be good), and I was amazed that I didn't buy anything (like Starbucks mocha or a pretzel with cheese) when I took a child and three friends to the mall this afternoon.

I did, however, run into my buddy, Dominic. He was a bit down because he put his girlfriend on a plane to Nevada, but the move is only temporary while she's in school. I gave him a big 'ol hug! He'll get to see her in August (so please keep him safe on that trip, Lord!).

I will be taking the same child (with friends) to the Trumbull County Fair tomorrow, but I didn't know I would be working at it from 6:00-10:00!!!! Kurt called 30 minutes ago and said he needed some help, and tomorrow is my first day of vacation. The timing is pretty spiffy, eh?

Tomorrow is also my son's first day of summer school so that he won't have to take gym during the school year. He's thrilled that he won't have to be sweaty when he goes to class this year. I better get some sleep; tomorrow's going to be a long day.


Great news!

Today was my last day of summer school, and it was wonderful. They worked very diligently (although I had to endure the periodic, "Do we have to do this?").

The wonderful news is that every single kid passed my class!!!!

For me, that's rare.

So thank you, Lord!!!!!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I joined T.O.P.S.!!!!

As you can see in my picture, I'm chubby. What you DON'T see is that I'm actually 30 pounds heavier. Yes, I've gained that much since last September when the picture was taken.

I am what you'd call an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy, sad, depressed, excited, terrified...you name it, and I want to eat because of it. ;o)

Anyway, this year has been hellish. I have had some crazy ups and downs, and I don't want to get any bigger. On the spur of the moment, I thought, "Why not join T.O.P.S. (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) at my church?"

So I did...and it was CHEAP! It's only $24 per year and $1 per week. I used to pay a heck of alot more (and $12 / week) at Weight Watchers.

These women are already my friends, and I love them dearly. I also get to learn about weight loss, share successes, get encouragement when I need it, and enjoy healthy, godly fellowship every week.

I'm also extremely competitive, so I simply CANNOT let anybody lose more weight than me during any given week.

I enjoyed myself tonight.

Prayer time:

Thank you, Lord, for letting me enjoy some time with Melanie today. She is a nut, and I love her dearly! Please let the class respond well to her; I even pray that they do better for her academically than they did for me. I want them to succeed, God!

I'm also grateful for the prayer time with my pastor today. I have some more to pray about, but not here. I need You to help me to stay obedient, even when I find it hard to do.

I'm embarking on yet another weight loss journey. This time, God, I'd like to lose the last bit of weight once and for all. I want to be healthier and happier (physically and emotionally), and I'm asking that You be with me every step of the way. Keep my attitude positive, and remind me when I'm tempted to eat something unhealthy, especially when I'm not even hungry. Help me to pray instead of eat excessively, Lord. Thanks! In Jesus name, amen.


Monday, July 7, 2008

I'm tired.

Today was l-o-n-g. I'm weary, and in a few moments I will leap onto my pillow and catch some zzzz's.

God, thank you for blessing us so much! Thank you for giving Janet and Kim words of wisdom for me lately! I appreciate their kindness, and I pray that you allow them to continue working in my life.

Lord, I'm still having a hard time with some stuff, and I need you.

I don't really know what else to say.

I pray for a situation with a friend of a friend at church. Lord, I pray that your will be done, as always. I pray that you allow all of us to grow in the next few weeks, and I also pray that we will nurture and encourage one another. In Jesus' name, amen.

Busy day!

Can you believe I don't have any papers to grade?!?!? Wow!!!! I got them all done by 2:00 p.m.!

Woo hoo!!!!!

What did I do with my afternoon of freedom?

Well, I took a son to lunch (the other one preferred to be with friends), and then he wanted to go to Borders. While he was window shopping, I decided to go get my nails done.

They are lovely!

I used to get my nails done all the time until I had to break up a fight between two girls. One chick was bloodthirsty, I tell you...in an effort to get to chick #2, she accidentally grabbed MY hand instead, ripping off my nail and the acrylic one too.

(I'm cringing even as I think about it!)

But what's it going to hurt for the summer?

I got a spiffy little air brush design, and I am very pleased with them...although I'm typing much slower than my usual 120+ wmp. ;o)

What will I do with my free evening????

Well, they're having prayer at church tonight.

God has made it abundantly clear that I'm supposed to go.

I'd rather not have a repeat of yesterday, so I'll make it easy on myself and just be obedient. Maybe He will show me something that will bless somebody's socks off. That's how I'd like the evening to end.

How was your day?

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I lost my argument with God. Rats.

Has God ever asked you to do something that you really didn't want to do?

That's me.

And He's not budging.

At all.

Hmph.

I suppose I could throw yet another temper tantrum, but what would that prove? Do I honestly think that my fit is going to impress the creator of the universe?

I think not.

But he did give me a pretty spiffy friend named Janet. :O) [I accidentally made the nose too big and was going to make it lowercase, but then I thought better of it. Instead, this is my tribute to women everywhere who got a bad nose job. Accidents happen, eh?]

Anyway, I'm not going to go into details here; I'm just going to leave it at this: I hurt.

I thought I was healed; as a matter of fact, things were going swimmingly for a few weeks.

Under different circumstances, I'd write more. In fact, I may write more in my private diary. But I care about the individuals involved, and they might have a friend of a friend of a friend who reads my blog...hence my silence regarding more details. ;o)

I need prayer please. I wouldn't even mind if you prayed with me here.

They're having prayer at church tomorrow night, but this is still so raw...I probably won't go.

Pray for God to let me have a scab, ok? This thing has been eating at me for far too long.

Jesus, Janet said that I'm the "prayin'-est" person she knows, but I'm not so sure about that. I'm pro'ly the "neediest" person she knows! There always seems to be something huge I need to work on, which is why I'm always bothering you.

Lord, I need your touch this evening. I don't even want to wait for tomorrow. I know that's selfish, but Jesus I sure would like you to help me "just get over it." I feel like a schizophrenic: half of me never wants to go back to my church, and the other half can't wait to go there to work on bulletins, play the baby grand piano, or organize music for the following week.

How can one person want such opposite actions to take place?

Father, I do want to pray for world hunger, healing in those who have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses, and broken hearts. I'm trying not to think only of myself, but right now I'm in a selfish place. All I can really think about is my desire to leave my church. At the same time, you seem to be calling me to do more as far as ministry goes. (sigh...)

I'm not overworked at the moment; I'm only working two jobs right now (summer school and church), but You know what's going on. I pray that you heal my heart from everything that has broken (or even just cracked) it. I want to do what you want me to do, even if it means staying right where I'm at for a season. But please let me know when that season is about to be over; I'd like a departure date as soon as you can give me one.

God, I feel so stupid and inadequate! I wish you'd work something out so that I can go back to my old church. I could still do ministry stuff there, God! I could even help with that women's ministry: I get along great with Traci and Jan! God, I don't want to do this anymore....do I have to?

I don't want any more tears. I just want to be joyful; I want to spread love and happiness everywhere I go (like I used to). It used to be easy to do....not so much anymore.

But alas, not my will but Yours be done...

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Phew!!!!!

I just got back from picking up my son at a concert downtown. The original plan was for me to give him and a friend a ride.

Somehow I ended up taking four kids home.

Um...did I mention they were all teenage boys who had been outside in the summer sun and heat all day?

I remembered the stench the last time I took them home. So, thinking that I was oh-so-clever, I sprayed some expensive perfume all over the car a few seconds before I got to the parking lot to get them.

Let's just say it didn't work.

Oh well.

Since I'm one of the younger mothers, I'm sure I'll pro'ly end up taking them home quite often. The joys of motherhood...

"Letters From War" by Mark Schultz

I just listened to this amazing song and got teary-eyed; I remember vividly the day I had to drive to the airport in Cleveland to put my husband on a plane that was the first part of his trip to Iraq for the war.

Oh my goodness...all of those emotions flooded back as I watched the video.

Thankfully, he made it back in one piece physically, but please pray for him. He's not ok mentally.

We spent the day together, though. His family reunion began at 3:00, and all of us attended it together. We had a wonderful time!

Dear God in heaven, I pray for military families everywhere!

Father, I got choked up listening to that song. It reminded me of the hell I went through as a military wife, but I'm also reminded that there are so many spouses still living through that pain and fear. Lord, please give them peace. Remove all fear, and allow them to be able to function to take care of their children until their loved ones return. Relieve their anxiety and depression, Lord. Give them joy. In Jesus' name, amen.

My big brother's in love!

Her name is Toby, and they met in high school.

She lives in Flint, MIchigan (where I was born), but she's planning to move here when they get married! She's ready now, but he's been married twice and told her yesterday, "Well, let's wait a year. If we're still dating and getting along, then I definitely want you to start packing!"

Although that may not have been the most romantic thing to say, it made her smile!

For the first time since I've known my brother (and I'm 36 years old now), he is truly happy with a woman. They smile, joke around, are affectionate, and deeply respect one another. Watching them interact yesterday was entertaining and enjoyable!

Thank you, God! It was wonderful to enjoy a family dinner without drama....not that he's a trouble maker, but he's much more pleasant since he and Toby started dating last year. Please continue to bless both of them with even more smiles and laughter! Help them to work through any issues that may arise. Every healthy relationship must be able to survive conflict resolution and constructive criticism, and I pray that these two will experience that. Please bless them, Father! In Jesus name, amen!


Friday, July 4, 2008

Come on in, Lord!!

I was making some cookies for the picnic at my sister's (yeah, Mom won that one...we'll have roast/potatoes/salad at my house another day) and had some praise/worship music going. I stopped what I was doing and started singing to God. Before long, I was in the midst of some serious worship...all by myself.

The Holy Spirit was here today!

I love it when that happens.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!

Ever since my Dad passed away, I don't take celebrations for granted.

I miss him terribly.

Sometimes I just want to call him up and say, "Hey! What's up? Do you have time to talk?"

But the good news is that I WILL see him again one day.

I'm actually grateful for some areas in my life where I'm more independent than ever before:

1. I have been financially on my own for several years. At first, I didn't think I'd be able to make it, yet here I am.

2. I no longer feel an intense desire to be part of a couple. For a while there I was so lonely that I wrote about it every five minutes on my other blog, but I can honestly say I'm content with who I am and where I'm at emotionally. God knows I'd like to be married again someday (to a Christian guy this time!!!!), but it's fine if He doesn't answer that prayer. I'm developing friendships with people of the opposite sex, and I greatly appreciate respect, honesty, humor, and affection of people in general (male and female).

3. I do not care if people think I'm odd because I won't do the things that they do (drink, smoke, swear, flirt a little too much, wear heavy make-up, etc.).

Thank you, Lord, for the healing process! I'm not naive enough to believe that I've somehow reached a place of emotional perfection and healing after my divorce, but I'm thankful to have You with me as the hardened, crusty, decayed parts of my heart slowly fall away. In its place I am finding a renewed urgency to live my life to the fullest. I appreciate that, and I'm so glad that you've taken that depression out of my mind and even out of my home!

Lord, I pray for my friend who was feeling a bit homesick last night. Jesus, his family is so far away, but at least they're in this country! :o) That doesn't help sometimes, though. Please let him have a fantastic time this evening as he enjoys the company of several folks who love him. I wish I could do something to ease his burden...at least I can pray until I think of something.

Father, I pray that you heal anyone who hurts and happens to be reading this blog. I pray that you help them be completely honest about their needs and desires, and allow them to see for themselves that You really are enough when it comes to enjoying happiness and fulfillment.

Surround each person with friends and family who love them dearly; allow them to hear how much they're appreciated and admired! I pray that all of us learn how to express our love for one another on a regular basis. Help us to be encouraging and not discouraging! In Jesus' name, amen!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Whut wuz I thinkin'?

Sometimes I amaze myself with my lack of foresight.

Let me start at the beginning...

When I was at work, my son called and said he was hungry. I told him that I was exhausted and didn't want to cook, but I'd gladly take him out to dinner in about an hour. (I had to write some quizzes for tomorrow, and then I'd be on my way home.)

Due to excessive cell phone use by students, the building I work in scrambles reception so that it's difficult to hold a conversation. Somehow I got the message that one of our members was in the hospital and might like a visit.

So...after dinner, I dropped off the kids at their respective friends' homes and headed for the emergency room. It was already 7:30 p.m. by the time I arrived, but I stayed until a little after 10:00 as moral support not only for her but her son as well. You see, her son stayed with me quite a bit when my Mom was hospitalized, and I will never forget that he did that! He has a generous heart, and tonight was simply my turn to be his friend.

It was almost 10:30 when I got home, and that's when I had the bright idea to make some cookies for my class since no one failed for the midterms.

I just finished.

And it's almost 1:00 a.m.!!!!

And I'm wide awake because I had a Diet Coke at the hospital; I forgot to check to see if it had caffeine (obviously, it did).

I made a batch of oatmeal/chocolate chip cookies, cleaned the kitchen, bagged the cookies (3 per student) after they cooled off, and washed/dried a load of clothes...all since 10:30!

Father, I was a dork tonight. Why in the world did I think I should have started such a project that late?!?!? Please help me to get up on time for work in the morning. I figured I'd get on-line, type a few ideas, and pray for a bit....hoping that I'd get sleepy in the process of all that. It's kinda sorta working!

Jesus, thank you for a wonderful day! I love you! Amen.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

semi-happy day at work

Midterms were due this afternoon, and I didn't have ANY failures! YAY!!!!!!!!

Most of the kids behaved and did what they were supposed to do! YAY AGAIN!!!!!

One little darlin' decided to test me, though, but I won (as always). Sometimes they insist on seeing how far they can push (and with me it isn't very far). I am Momma in my classroom, and the quicker they understand that, the better.

Either they respect me, or I force them to fake it. :o)

I think I made my point this morning. The rest of the day was lovely!

Lord, thanks for helping me to handle some situations that could have easily blown out of proportion. I am specifically praying for T----. He's mad at me, but he'll get over it. I pray that you help him to stay focused during the lessons; help him to care about his own grades. I pray that you relieve the stress at home; he's so young to have to deal with raising siblings. Give him peace, God!

Please watch over every family that's represented, especially the young man who helps his Mom who is on dialysis three times a week, the young man who was kicked out of the house as soon as he turned 18, the young mother who is finding out that having a baby at 16 wasn't as "cute" or "glamorous" as she thought it would be. Jesus, you know each of their struggles. Please help them to make the right decision every time they have a choice.

God, I'm on my way to the hospital to visit a woman from our church. I pray that you give her peace and remove all fear. I also pray that you remove anxiety from her son, who happens to love his Momma dearly. Let him relax, God! Allow him to rest in the knowledge that he serves an awesome God! In Jesus' name, amen.

FRIENDS ARE COOL!!!!!

I want to thank God for my friends. Here goes:

Lord, thank you for being my friend! You are always there to comfort me and love me when I screw up. You forgive me for the dumbest stuff, and yet you still use me to bring smiles to others. How can I ever thank you?

Melanie is a beautiful woman, inside and out! God, how can so much love be wrapped into one human being? I'm amazed. Bless her as she takes care of some personal stuff. Please give her peace, Lord, and nudge her to come back to my church! I miss seeing her there!

Lord, Annette is such a giving person! She is absolutely, hands down, the most creative person I know. She's also a talented chick who can sing so well, and I pray that you continue to bless her marriage. Protect it from any attacks of the enemy, including her own mother-in-law.

Thank you for Pastor Matt. He puts up with me, and that's saying a lot, believe me. I'm growing ever so slowly, and I pray that you help me be a blessing and not a pain in the butt. He's going to be doing some intense spiritual warfare tonight, so please bless him! Protect him! Encourage him!

Thank you for Kurt too! He is a wonderful friend, and I'm so ecstatic because he's made me feel young and lovely! I pray that you continue to bless his relationship with his daughters, and help him as he builds his ministry.

God, I'm so grateful to my new friend, Kim, who lives in Canada! God, she hasn't even met me [other than here], yet she's planning to ship a beautiful gift my way! Lord, this is part of her business, yet she's blessing me, so I ask to be a blessing to her as well. When other teachers come into my room and see the sign she's making me, please touch their hearts to ask me, "Hey! That's beautiful! How can I get one?" I pray that you bless her business so much that she will have to think of ways to spend all of the money! Continue to give her joy! She looks so happy in her pictures, and I pray that she stays that way!

Thank you, Lord, for everything! I appreciate my friends, my family, my job, my health! I may not have a ton of money, but I am definitely "rich," and it's all because of you, Jesus! I love you so much! Forgive me for anything I've done wrong. I can't think of anything lately that I haven't already repented of, but I still need you to help me improve in some areas. In Jesus' name, amen.

There are so many friends who are coming to mind, but I have to go to work. I don't even have time to proofread now...drat. Oh well...I hope you have a wonderful day! And thank you for reading this! I'm so glad you visited me today!